I am only human

I guess it was bound to happen.

Me getting sick.

I can't put it off forever!

I put myself in a position to lower my immune system and BAM! Knocked me right on my ass! It started off with a very harsh cough. That lead to not having a voice! Nothing was making it go away. I drank so much tea and ingested a crap load of honey! Even tried my normal go to remedy for a soar throat even though my throat didn't hurt ~ gargling cayenne pepper. Then came the fever. I was so cold and so tired. Of course I'm still breast feeding so I didn't want to take anything and really can't but I gave in and took some Children's Advil to take the pain away. My body and my head was throbbing from coughing so hard! It then manifesting into a head cold! Great! Just what I need. Sinus pressure! Beautiful!

I've been sick for 6 days! And all I can think about is how grateful I am that it's happening now while I'm still on Mat Leave! I haven't been this sick in a long time. I used to get sick all the time! I was prone to colds. I believe it's completely a frame of mind too! The stress I'm allowing into my mind regarding going back to work was a big portion of this happening! My thoughts become things as we all know!

This has been the strangest sickness I've ever had. I don't recall ever having a fever followed by a cold symptom? I don't really have an appetite either. I envy those who can take a tone of cold medicine and stay in bed for a few days and worry about themselves! I do need to give thanks to my husband for taking care of dinner and to my parents for helping with the boys and a few of the house choirs I couldn't get to as well!

Mothers should not be able to get sick! EVER! If my head wasn't still so foggy I'd try and come up with 10 funny reasons why. But I'm not too cleaver at the moment. I don't see myself the "funny" type! I married my husband for that! LOL He's the cleaver, funny one!

I hope no one else has to go through this thing I am finally getting over! It has not been fun! But again. I am only human! I can't be strong and positive every day! I'm allowed to fall too!

Now I'm picking myself back up and getting ready for a very busy April! And preparing for a new routine with work and family and passion!

And Breath

My start date for work is fast approaching. In just over two weeks I will no longer be on Maternity leave. I will be a working mother.

I'm starting to fall completely apart at the thought of leaving my son. I have a full on anxiety attach. I can't breath and I start to sob. Even just saying this in passing or one quick thought. BOOM! Tears. Done!

I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed right now.

With the house, the boys, Passion and my soon to be work schedule.

I'm also feeling alone.

Today I need to remember to take a big deep breath and just ask for help. I know it's all going to go smoothly! Everything in life is how it's supposed to be! And it's good!

I know this is what I need and want!

And BREATH

What the hell is on my face?

When you announce you are expecting your first, second or even your tenth child, you get people telling about everything. What brand of diapers to use. Whether to cloth or not to cloth. Co-sleep or not. Breastfeed vs bottle. Sleep when the baby sleeps. How their labour and delivery went and why you should deliver at home or at the hospital... Blah blah blah

Here is what they DON'T tell you

Chin hairs!
They come out of no where. You wake up in the morning, take a look in the mirror and your are good to go. But come the afternoon you brush your hands across your face and THERE IT IS. You gasp and run to a mirror. A long black hair! WTH. HOW? WHY? How does it grow so fast? It's almost as if it's going to come to life like the pimple on Chris' face in that Family Guy episode. Ohhhh Emmmm Geeee!

I'm now paranoid that I'll have this long ass black hair coming out of my chin that I've missed and people will be gawking at me making fun of it behind my back! I'm now constantly feeling my chin or looking in the mirror. I used to see my own mother do this and I would silently chuckle to myself. NOW I'M DOING THE SAME. DAMN. THING.

I find that if I don't pull it out the second I find it, I end up playing with it all day. Which annoys the hell out of me. It's like that itch that won't go away. And you keep scratching in hopes the make it better but you end up making it worse!

So if you are pregnant with your first child you can now say you have been warned!

Happy Hump Day everyone... I'm off to find my damn tweezers.

My way of thinking

So to go along with yesterdays post and my rant on facebook I would like to clarify my beliefs.

After I took Ethan to the Chiropractor and to school he said he was fine up until dinner time when his stomach ache came back. So I ran him another warm bath and he went to bed with no dinner. He then woke up crying again. Steve freaked out at me. So I told him I would take him in to be checked out while he stays home to do his work he said he needed to do tonight. That there in itself builds a little resentment in my own head that I am trying to push aside. I start thinking about all the times I'm always the one to do things. Why can't he just trust my instinct and what Dr. Paul said. AND THEN I START TO QUESTION MYSELF. I should know better then to do this. I have great instincts. Especially when it comes to my children. There is some kind of tie between a mother and a child that no one can deny is there. I have always had this little voice inside of me that has said either "This is wrong" or "This is right". I don't always listen to it but I'm learning to trust it! 

Here's the thing. I'm not totally against Doctors. No. To me they are surgeons. They are needed when something serious needs to be fixed. Now if I couldn't even touch Ethan stomach or he couldn't play normal like he has been for the past week then I would have had him in the ER sooner. But the pains would come in waves and he was playing, eating and even going to the bathroom normal. He said his entire stomach ached. No one spot. And no I'm not a doctor but I know enough to know that that is not serious. I have had my own stomach pains and hours spent in the ER to know symptoms.  

I felt like a moron when the ER Doctor looked at me and asked in a mocking voice "So why ARE you here?" I told him that Ethan started crying and my husband freaked out! The doctor laughed and said it's normally the other way around. I then told him I'm the hippy one of the family. I'd rather see a medicine man then a doctor any day, no offence. 

So he proceeds to check him out. Felt his stomach and said it's nice and soft which is a great sign that nothing is blocking anything. Nothing is pushing back and it doesn't hurt him to push it! So he's perfectly fine. He might have a mild virus and this could last another week. 

Here is where my problem arises. He then proceeds to tell me we could put him on a mild anti-depressant. I don't understand that industry. Why would he tell me this and what would that really do for a mild stomach ache? Now that I have had a night to process that comment I'm furious and confused. 

I'm mad at myself mostly for not standing my ground. Yes I'm thankful I went and my Ego is beaming because I was told what I was already thinking and that my husband hopefully got the answer he needed but this also makes me mad. I know I'm right but this causes another issue. The lack of trust between myself and my husband. We have different views. Different beliefs. We don't always agree with what is the right approach when it comes to our children. This needs to be addressed. I do know this. Next time Steve doesn't agree with me he can take control and go fix it! I don't care if he has people to call, emails to write and comments to post. If he doesn't like what I'm saying or how I'm handling things he can go get the answers himself! I just hope he's with me when I say what the fuck was that doctor thinking when he suggested an anti depressant? Was it just to get me the fuck out of the room so someone more serious could be seen? I didn't want to be there in the first place. I had to carry a 38 lbs child and a 19 lbs baby in a car seat because one refused to walk into the ER. I then had to try and contain a squirmy baby in my arms because he wanted down to explore. Sure he wants to be held all day until we are some where he really doesn't want to crawl around on. And it bothers me that the most common place to catch anything is where... The ER! 

Not every person with a Dr. in front of their name is good. No one is perfect. Not even me. I make mistakes. I'm running on no sleep which is like having a few drinks. But I believe that a lot of ailments can be cured with simply a better diet. And yes I believe in Chiropractic care. I know a lot of people don't but I do. I have seen it work. And just like the gym, yes you need to go back to maintain your health!

I'm also not a complete hippy. I agree with Vaccinations! I do believe we wouldn't need them if everyone went to a chiropractor but we don't. And I also believe that the ones not vaccinating are going to cause another epidemic but again that is my own belief and I can only sit and wait for time to tell. 

Last night taught me to trust my instinct and that I need to stop trying to control everything. I'm taking off the pants. The next issue to arise will not be in my hands. When I go back to work I'm not going to be able to do it all anyway and if I don't get the help with the decisions, actions and maintenance around here I will really lose my mind. I'm not kidding. I don't know what else to do. I'm venting right now but I've cried and screamed and talked and emailed. Maybe a complete freak out/mental breakdown will break through? 

I am also not saying my way is the best way either. It just feels right. Inside my heart and soul. I have seen and experienced what anti-depressants can do to people and in my experience it made things worse. I have seen and read horror stories of medical doctors making life threatening mistakes. And of course I have heard horror stories of midwives and chiropractors too. However I will not see someone I don't think has my best interest in mind and/or isn't giving me the most natural remedy before going the medical way. I had the same argument when I choose to go ahead with a home birth! 

I do what I feel is right for myself and my family and knock on wood so far I have not been wrong with this path! Agree or disagree with me. This is what is in my heart, soul and head! Along with a little man called Ego doing a happy dance! stupid ego. 

A New Way of Thinking

Last Thursday my 5 year old son started complaining about his stomach hurting. Usually when he says that he has to go to the bathroom. This time however he couldn't go. So I decide to try some natural remedies - Prune Juice and increase his fruit intake. I get home Friday night from my party and Steve and my mom inform me that he was in more pain that night. So I call the health link and they tell me to keep doing what I'm doing and could got pick up a glycerine suppository or try a warm bath but if he's not better come Sunday then I should look into taking him in to see a Doctor.

I'm really not a big fan of doctors. The world is so attached to a quick fix or taking a pill or drugs to make them "feel" better instead of actually caring for their body. Proper diet, exercise and going to see a good Chiropractor is really all we need for proper maintenance! Making sure everything is in alignment will help restore the functions of your body! It wasn't until I was pregnant with my second child that I started to learn about the magic of a Chiropractor and the importances of it! I no longer take drugs to help cure a cold or flu symptom, couldn't while pregnant anyway. If I can't sleep or have a head ache I drink warm milk with brown sugar and vanilla. But after going regularly I sleep better and a head ache is usually because of lack of water! If I feel a cold coming on I gargle cayenne pepper and call to be squeezed in for a quick adjustment before it gets really bad!

Here is something that really irritates me. People that are always complaining that they are sick. And 90% of them are smokers, don't eat all that healthy and don't always exercise. Their body is trying to tell them something and they are not listening! They make excuses! The biggest one being addiction! It's stupid! My second irritation is they complain about having no money! They can spend over $50 per week give or take on cigarettes but God forbid they quit smoking and spend $40 a week on an adjustment! A cigarette is just as bad, if not worse than eating at McDonald's everyday having a big mac! Think about it! Your body is your temple! It's what keeps you on this planet. In this dimension. You don't want to live each day like it's your last. No, you want to take care of yourself so you can see tomorrow! Anyway I digress.

Today I was very proud Ethan asked to go see Dr. Paul . At first he said he didn't want to get his neck adjusted because it hurt. But then he said. And I quote "Wait a minute. I'm 5 now. It doesn't hurt any more!". So I picked up the phone and got us both in 15 minutes later! I was a bit upset with myself for not thinking about it myself! Last night was a sleepless night for me between the neighbours music, time change and Jaden's stuffy, teething nose and when Ethan came in to my room crying at 5am I started to worry a bit. I let him sleep in and posted I was going to take him to the Children's Hospital but on the other end I still didn't think it was really serious enough. I was just going with what the nurse said on the phone. Once Ethan was up I made him breakfast and he ate everything just fine. I wasn't in really any rush to go to emergency really. I talked to my grandmother and decided maybe my family doctor or a walk-in would be best until Ethan asked about Dr. Paul!

Dr. Paul showed me where the nerves connect for the digestive system and how I can see where he's out of line. It's pretty cool actually. I also knew that he would be able to tell if it was serious enough to head to the emergency! Ethan did great! Laughed after he got adjusted! Normally he freaks out! I got myself adjusted and booked us in next week! He still said his stomach was aching but I told him he's good enough for school and will be better soon now that we were adjusted!

I want to teach my children to embrace this new way of thinking! I love that Ethan doesn't like taking any medicine. My Papa told me I used to ask for a "Pill" when I was feeling a little under the weather. That just makes my own stomach turn thinking about how I used to be. I want my boys to be as healthy and they can be and embrace it! I also want to teach them that sometimes our bodies hurt but it's not a reason to stop doing things that need to be done! Life goes on and we will be going on with it!

Proof that I'm NOT Crazy

Yesterday my grandmother phoned to tell me that Sara Blakley, the creator of Spanx, has officially become the youngest self-made female Billionaire in the world! That is AMAZING! 


And how did she do it?


By VISUALIZING!


She was 29 when the idea came to her one night. Prior to that she was visualizing for 7 years! Now at 41 she's a billionaire! That right there goes to show everyone that it's never too late to start! I'm 29 right now! Just think... I could be a billionaire in 12 years. Now where is my billionaire idea? LOL 


Of course she worked as well! You can't expect the phone to ring if you are not out passing around your business card! Right? Right! 


That's not the point. The point is she used the power of positive thinking and visualizing to bring her entrepreneurial success. She like many around the world closed her eyes and seen herself where she is now. 


I'm using mantras. I have vision boards. I'm seeing success unfold before my own eyes in my life! I'm excited about Sara's success because it's proof I'm not crazy. Not to mention millions of other successful people in the world are and have used the same theory! They may not be "billionaires" but they are successful in their eyes and THAT is the point! 


My Vision is to be financially free! I haven't really pin pointed what success is for myself yet and I do need to change my vision board that is right now on the wall in the bathroom so I look at it every day! But I'm doing something. I have my vision board in my office for my dream car too which I blogged about in January! And I'm saying my mantra all the time! I remember watching a "Secret" like movie and one of the speakers said that life is like a missile. It must change it's course periodically to reach it's destination! Don't be afraid to change something in order to reach your goal! That's the beauty about life! 


I have my mantra set to go off every hour and a half! My 5 year old now says "I'm a Money Magnet" when it goes off! This morning even Steve said it! 


What is your vision? What is your mantra? 


This is what the Universe sent me via email Friday! 


It's not as if one could be bored enough, feel frustrated enough, or complain enough that their life would suddenly turn around. Doesn't work that way. 


Whatever anyone "is", Erin, they become more of. And anyone's is'ness is whatever they say it is. 


Happily, 


The Universe 


This couldn't be more true! Pay attention to your thoughts today! Listen to what you are thinking and what you are telling people. 


The Power IS in Positive Thinking! 

I DID IT!!!!

I not only reached my GOAL weight but passed it! I'm 129lbs (with cell phone in hand taking the picture - it said 128.6 or something like that before cell phone LOL)

People keep asking me what my secret is. Tell me how you did it Erin... And by me writing it here I am only repeating what every weight loss blog, company or program, person will tell you! You hear it all the time. Are you ready for it?

EAT HEALTHY AND EXERCISE!

Simple but not easy!

And I cheat! I'm not depriving myself of things I crave or want. No but I have found a balance. I try and keep it all to the weekends but I don't always stay with it. I also fail at drinking the proper amount of water I need. I've altered what I perceive as a treat now. I love chocolate so instead of a KitKat, I now buy dark chocolate! It's good for you! I don't drink pop but when I'm out I order a Soda Water with a splash of Cranberry juice. When I want starch I get myself a bag of The Kettle Brand Baked Salt chips. They are more expensive but it's a better option! I might actually invest in the newest Pampered Chef/Epicure make your own chips thingy I seen in their books... Maybe!

Here is the guidelines I've given myself for each meal (I'm sorry if I've blogged about this before. I'm too lazy to go back and look!):

Breakfast:
I stopped eating bread and cereal. I have oatmeal with bananas (no sugar) or hard boiled eggs, cheese and fruit. Sometimes I'll scramble some with spinach. I was making fruit smoothies with just juice, spinach and fruit but I got lazy LOL


Lunch:
Tuna on a rice cake, or a wrap. Sometimes again just hard boiled eggs because I'm usually getting back from the gym around lunch time and I need protein right away. So it's usually some kind of protein and veggies! but it depends on if I'm home or out!

Dinner:
Protein and veggies! Raw veggies on salad is my favourite this week. And I'll make Steve rice but I won't always have some myself. And if it's pasta I started buying whole wheat pasta. Steve will not eat whole wheat rice but pasta he will so it's the one thing I changed and will not change back. I know he hates that it's actual spaghetti and not vermicelli but whatever. I don't care. I want whole wheat!

Snacks:
Apples with real peanut butter is my favourite! But I try and keep it to some kind of fruit or vegetable.  I will cheat and just grab one of Ethan's granola bars or something bad but again... I don't stress about it!

I try and stick to ONE cup of coffee and then switch to herbal teas and again water.... Ugh. I love water but I need to drink more! I also take a multi-vitamin and an Omega 3 with Vit-D supplement! I also started buying at the Farmers Market! I want to try and cut out as much pesticides as I can out of my diet! I really don't think it's healthy at all for us!

Now when I say I work out I'm not just going to the gym and jumping on a machine and going through the motions. NO! I am joining step classes, Med Ball, Legs, Bums and Tums Bootcamp and an Iron Reps class with is weights. I also pay an extra $40 a month to take another bootcamp typy class called "Take It Off" which gives me an hour with a personal trainer pushing us to the max! She's a 90lbs Philippino chick that works you until you are ready to collapse! She's my favourite trainer at my gym! I've done a lot of squats, push ups, tri-push ups, lunges, jumping jacks, weight lifting, burpies, jumping on steps and so much more! Have you seen the infomercial about "Intensity"? THAT is what I do in my TIO class. We will add some weights but it's mostly just me, myself and I jumping and pushing and almost crying LOL. LOVE! I want those DVD's for home. Can I get a copy off of someone?

I'm happy with my weight now! I don't really care if I lose or gain a few pounds. I'm now looking to tone my body! I still need to lose a few more inches around my mid section but I know it's coming! I've seen it slim down so much already! This is where I need to step it up and not become lazy! Deep Breath and.... GO! ugh lol

My measurements when I started working out were:
July 6th, 2011
Arm - 13
Chest - 38
Waist - 31.5
ABD - 38.5
Hips - 41.5
Thigh - 25.5
Calf - 14
Weight - 148lbs!


My measurements now are:
March 1st, 2012
Arm - 10
Chest - 35
Waist - 30
ABD - 34
Hips - 36
Thigh - 19
Calf - 12
Weight - 129lbs


Please note I have failed to remember to ask someone to take pictures. This will follow soon! If I remember LOL

Things that have changed since applying the Law of Attraction

About 3 1/2 years ago I was sitting in my living room with a friend singing my woes. She gave me some advice and I took it! My life started to move into a direction I wanted because of it! I got a better job with the same company, joined Passion Parties, bought a house and so on.

However, it's taken 3 1/2 years for me to finally really believe in myself! I'm saying Thank You every time I drive through a green light, find a really great parking spot, see a white rabbit and now when I get that random phone call from a stranger looking to book a party! I'm saying thank you all the time without any effort, without even thinking! I am also finally using my mantra! I spent the last year not knowing what I wanted or how to say it because I want EVERYTHING and I HATE waiting! But this January I picked one, as I'm sure you have seen - "I'm a Money Magnet". It sent my business into full speed! I booked 6 parties within 3 days. I contacted ONE person for those 6 parties. The rest contacted ME! I was asked to join a training school with my leaders, I got back pay for my baby and started a savings account for my boys and I have now decided to start paying off my loans faster! I am HAPPY! I then tried to change my mantra at the beginning of February and didn't really feel it so I changed it back and I'm keeping it until I stop seeing it's magic! But really... how could it ever lose it's magic?

I remember always thinking something was missing about 2 years ago. Nothing was ever good enough. I was still struggling mentally to be positive. I know now that was my ego taking over. But I finally also realized then that I had everything I had asked for. I had a family, a car, a job, a house and so much more! No we don't have a million dollar home in the ideal neighbourhood, fancy car in the driveway and the highest paying jobs. BUT we don't have to worry. We can pay our bills and enjoy our life! That was my second Ah-Ha moment in my recent life. After that we were blessed with another baby boy!

There is so much more I need to work on! My personal life, my own feelings about myself and hopefully transferring this magic onto my husbands band!

Lately as well I keep seeing people tweet or facebook how little money they have. How they can't pay a bill or even feed themselves. This is driving me crazy. I know in my heart that even if I was standing there giving them the answers to their woes on a silver platter they wouldn't get it! Like anything YOU have to be ready for CHANGE! Or for Steve, PROGRESS! I have this amazing opportunity for people! I have a gift to share! But it takes work. And people do not want to work to make things better. It's sad. If you want your life to change or get better you will have to do something different to get it! Get a different job, get a second job or like I said, join my team. Even move away! Sometimes the same old, same old is not good! "Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes!"

The thing is too that life is always handing me challenges. I'm learning to embrace them! I'm learning that sitting in my bed crying is not going to make it go away. I'm learning to learn from these challenges. To not always understand the reason but to try and see the good of the challenge. To see the change progress it is bringing to me.

I want to help others see how easy life can be for them! How beautiful the world actually is when you open your eyes and see the beauty! You can have what you want if you do something to get it!

Today I am thankful for my family, my business and ME! I'm thankful for my friend who helped me and continues to help me and my other friends too!

If you are not happy with your life or are struggling financially you can stop that cycle! You! Only YOU!

Find your magic! Find your peace! Find yourself!

Here are the things I have done over the years and started doing to see the changes in my life:

Paying attention to my thoughts and changing them
Changing my story I tell others
I read The Secret, Infinite Possibilities by Mike Dooley and am starting to read A New Earth.
Saying a Mantra
Listening to training materials ~ Train your Brain by Dana Wild
Making choices
Saying Yes and No
Saying THANK YOU!

If you would like me to tell you more about my recent experiences in the power of positive thinking and other things I've done, Ask! I would love to share more!

Happy Monday!