Can one truly not judge?

I made a decision to leave a group on Facebook today. I joined thinking it would be a place where parents (mostly moms) could turn to for advise and no judgement on their choices. However I have come to believe that there could never be such a place. We are so wrapped up in what we believe to be true that if someone disagrees they are automatically wrong even if there has been no real proff of what is the correct side. My husband is a very private man. I'm sure it drives him crazy that I am not a very private person. I am however learning to choose what I share with others wisely. I'm starting to believe that a lot of what we decide to act on as parents is no ones business. I was completely confident up until the other day on my choices. Now I'm questioning these choices because of some very harsh words of a stranger? A stranger! Come on! Really? So why do I feel this guilt when I know I am a great parent and my boys are perfectly fine? Why do people who feel so strongly about something end up turning into bullies? That is one thing they do not teach you in high school. Not everyone grows up! It's their way or the highway!

So today I unliked and am choosing to look deep into my heart once again and find that confidence I once had in regards to my choices. MY choices. No one elses. Except my husbands. He counts :) When will people actually agree to disagree and not hate? Is it really possible for people not to judge? I know this is something I am working on! I hope others are too...

Yummmmmmy!!!!!

When I was about a few days away even hours from having my second baby I was in a baking mode. Well I thought why not make whole wheat banana muffins. I have about 25 frozen banana's in my freezer! :D Anyways the receipe I have was not whole wheat but I thought I could figure it out myself. NOT! They were runny and WAY too much sugar in them. Back when I was in my early 20's I loved lots of sugar but not today!

I'm not sure why I was in the mood to bake and cook today but I was and so I did! lol

Because of my prior crappy muffin receipe I googled and found this one! They are a little small but VERY moist and fluffy!!!! Not very sweet but SO good!

Whole Wheat Banana Muffins
2 ripe bananas
1 large egg
3 Tbsp margarine/room temperature butter
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt

1. Preheat your oven to 375 F ( 190 C).

2. In a bowl, mash your bananas well with a fork, add butter, sugar and vanilla. Create a small space for beating your egg in the very same bowl then mix with the rest (My Mixer was a big help here... I just dumped it all in and let it do the work!)

3. Mix dry ingredients together and add to the banana mixture. Mix until combined.

4. Spray muffin pan with oil spray and add mix evenly. Makes 12 small muffins, 6 large

5. Bake for 15-20 minutes (18 was a good time in my oven), until the edges look golden brown. Do not over bake or the muffins will dry up.

I made whole wheat pancakes earlier too and tonight Honey BBQ Ribs which are right now in my slow cooker smelling ohhhh so good!!!! Thankfully I had a salade for lunch! LOL

Truth... I hurt

Day two! 150lbs and I have NO idea what my measurements are. It's on a pretty blue card filed under Mc30! I go in and get the kids organized in the kids area and off I go! To sweat... and man did I ever! I did 45 min of cardio and 15 min of abs and then baby wanted me! Which gave me no time to stretch and now I hurt. All I want to do is take a nap but I can't. My wifely/motherly duties will be asking for my attention here in a few minutes.

I go back Wednesday morning at 10am if anyone cares to join me. I'm not sure if I'll be walking the next few days hahaha but I know I'll be so busy hopefully I won't be able to focus on the pain. I can't wait for this part to be over!

Now off to make pizzas and organize my new shelf I built last night up here in my sauna! :) Thankfully it's windy right now!

Oh so tired...

So my first day at the gym since who knows when and it was nice! I'm going to like it there! Class options are good and the price is right! Funny they asked why I was joining and I said to save money and then after I join they ask if I want to sign up for 12 hours with a personal trainer... How much an hour? Oh just $55 so that will make your monthly payments $88 a month...

Ok so did you NOT hear why I came here? I want to go from $52 a month to $33 a month and you just asked if I want to pay an extra $55 a month? No thank you! LOL Seriousely people. If I am trying to get fit and save money I am not going to want a personal trainer. First of all it's not my first time at a gym. I know what I want and what I need to do! Second of all that is just way too much and that was a sale price? Google is a wonderful place to find free info to switch things up! Plus I'd rather drag a friend along to be accountable for my work out! That's FREE!!!!

After I explained for the second time that being on Mat Leave is not anyones financial dream and I am doing what I can to cut down on my spending she offered two more free sessions to show me the equipment and what I should do to get to my goal by the fall! That was very nice of her!

This is the part I need to change. Buyers regret, fear, self doubt kind of thinking. This is where I tend to let depression sink in and talk myself out of shit! So here we go. Taking a deep breath and going to my safe happy place. My grandparents deck over the ocean. I picture myself laying there relaxing. Listning to the water and the birds. I can even hear the dogs and the phones ringing!

It's going to be great. I'm going to find myself again. Everything always works out. And that extra money I'm saving will be a nice little addition come Xmas!

Here's to changing my post-experience thoughts and moving on to a good routine!

Here we go again...

Back to the gym!

I have a 1 hour free personal training session tomorrow at 11am!!!!! And then I'll be joining the gym! I already belong to a gym but cancelled it today! I have to pay for two more months but it's the price I pay or not doing it sooner. I'm also going to be saving $30 a month after that! How sweet is that! Yah me!!!! I love the gym! I just hate going there! LOL But I'm happy once I'm there!

So my goal is to gradually lose the rest of my baby weight. Keep in mind I'm breastfeeding! And find complete balance with my body. So I am aiming to start yoga!

Yes that body is my goal!!!! ;) So if I start now and with my Train Your Brain training all should be moving along nicely for the rest of my life!!!!

Right?

I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. The most I've done over the past few years is walk! Slowly hahaha

Ummm did you just empty the dishwasher?

It's absolutely amazing how much emotion plays a roll in your daily life. When I first purchased train your brain I would listen to all 6 CD's when I was working but never fully listened OR actually made an effort to train my brain. So now that I'm on mat leave for a year I am at er again. This time I'm taking my time. Listening to each CD slowly. Not rushing through them. I've been listening to CD one for about two weeks now. So today I moved to CD 2. Tonight I will burn it so I can put it in my car. Anyways I digress... Today I was happy. ALL DAY. I'm not sure what it was that allowed me to feel this way. I didn't actually pay that much attention to my thoughts that I am aware of. I got up. Got the the kids fed and ready and headed out the door to run a few errands. While I was out I decided to pick up a few items for a couple of meals for the rest of the week! What a great idea!!!! The funny part was as I was leaving one location I wasn't moving fast enough for the person behind me and man was she pissed! She honked her horn about 5 times and even yelled at me out her window while we were at a stop light. That's right the light was RED!!! So even if I had cut someone off to turn right we both would have waited the same amount of time! But I assessed that the cars behind a few cars turning into the lot were moving faster then my liking for me to turn into the lane. I have two children in my car and I decided that I was not going to rush to my next location. So while she yelled I chuckled and thought about what her day must be going like and how the rest of her day would be like with her being so angry and in such a rush. And that there... Me not letting it get to me or reacting paved the way to a great afternoon and evening.

I arrived at home with everything I needed to make my two meals, fed my baby and put him down, grabbed my laptop and started listening to Train Your Brain and worked away at cleaning my kitchen and starting to cook. Even had Mr. Man help me out for a few seconds. He then decided out side was more fun then cleaning LOL

Because I got home late dinner was going to be at 7pm. We normally eat around 5:30/6 however today my husband was late getting home and it worked out perfectly! He came in just as I was finishing feeding the baby and while I was making the rice and finishing up some dishes... HE EMPTIED THE DISHWASHER.

Now here's the thing... Did I say thank you? I don't remember. I'm in shock because I usually have to ask him to help. And because I'm in a great mood I finished eating, packaged up the food and finished cleaning the kitchen while he laid on the couch. Normally this would royally piss me off but today I didn't care.

I LOVE this feeling.

Another weekend passed

I must say I have doing very good with the not bitching. I've let a few things slip but after hearing about others husband I must admit I do have it pretty damn good. He may not help out with the house work as much as I want or do the kind of family things I would like but he is who he is and well... He loves and respects me! That's more then I can say for a lot of men!

I was a little sad he didn't make an effort to spend Canada Day with us. He had to work tho so I do understand. So I thought because he's got two days we'll make the best of it and it's just another weekend.   We ended up at the mall on a beautiful day so I thought ok whatever I need clothes. HAHAHA I walked into what I thought was one of my favourite stores, tried on a few items and ended up walking out in tears. I tear up even thinking about it. So back to my training. I just had a baby. My second baby. I'm not going to the gym and I'm not really eating as well as I should. However I have lost weight. And I will lose the rest in time. Unless I'm going to smarten up and become active and stop eating carbs I should not be sad. But buying a large when I used to be a small or medium if I didn't want tight fitting clothes is hard to swallow.

Losing weight is easy. I'm 150 right now and my goal is 130. I was 128 before I had my first and 135 before I had my second. I was 170 before my second was born so 20lbs right off top is damn good! Right? Right. So here's to using Train Your Brain to accept my process is losing weight and believing in myself and know it is happening as I type this. Be thankful for everything I eat and drink and allow myself to lose this weight at the speed that I am! And Get myself to the damn gym again! Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and even wednesday if I desire! I should go for more walks outside and find out what classes the gym has on the weekends so the man can watch his children for a few hours! If I wasn't ready for a nap i would attempt to go now LOL

So I'm learning to not bitch and accept my body for how it is after just having a second child! Maybe that's why I'm so tired right now haha.