Deep breath. Try not to cry. Remember what you have learned over the years.
Yet that hollow, painful feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you decide to look into an option of change. FEAR. That. Right now is what I'm feeling. And this fear is always wrapped around finances!
I'm a mother of two. I have a mortgage to pay. Other debt to manage. A life to care for. We are a dual working family. We can not live on one income. Calgary just doesn't allow that. Past choices doesn't allow that. I want to change THAT!
So I thought the best way to look into my potential career change is to volunteer. Over the past three weeks I have applied to every location I can think of, asked friends for advice and nothing. I haven't had a single phone call back. I just want to help, to learn, to see. Of course I want to better myself. I want better for myself. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to help people. But I never had the confidence or the belief in myself to go there. Now at 30 I'm wondering why the hell I didn't do this sooner. Why didn't I feel this major pull sooner. Now at 30 my options are harder to work around. And I don't even know if I could even get into a course. What if I'm not smart enough? What if I need to do more upgrading? fear, fear, fear, fear..... GRRRRRRRRRR
Deep Breath...
Release...
Ok. So. How do I do this? Where do I start? One step at a time. Baby steps.
Has anyone been in my position? How did you get around this? Because right now all I can see is my fear and my only other option is to win the lotto which I never buy a ticket for! HA! Fudge.
Well it's not that bad. I'm just having a woe is me moment! Twirling around my habitual chaos!
I will get over this soon! I will research out my options! I will call people for guidance! If this is something I am truly passionate about and will actually look into I have just under a year to plan!
I have time! But I'm also impatient!
I pray that I can teach my boys to have full confidence in their abilities! To go after their dreams when they are younger! Before they settle with a family! lol
But for now I'm feeling defeated. Stuck.
My photo to help move me from hopeless to hopeful!
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