My truth about friendships

People come in and out of your life for a reason. I accept who I am and who I am becoming and I accept that it may no long include people from my past. I can not control others perceptions. But I will say this. Do not take my lack of being the upfront kind of friend you may feel I should be without stating so personally! Just like I have learned and am still learning, you can not assume people around you are mind readers! If you need me I will be there! But you must say so! That's just who I am! I will drop my life for my friends! Even those I haven't spoken to in years if they call me needed someone! I love you all! But I am not the kind of person to go out of my way blindly. That's because I have in the past and I got burned. And I have learned in my past to not focus so much on those who drain me. I can't blame them for that. It's just knowing what I can and can not handle. My intentions in life are not to offend people. Especially friends. So please if you want to go for coffee... CALL ME. If you think I'm being to selfish by working too much... PICK UP THE PHONE AND TELL ME. Because I will most likely be sitting on my own couch watching TV on a Saturday Night if I do not have a party! Or in bed early. I love sleep!

Years ago I made a conscious decision to step back from a friendship I felt was draining. And today I think it ended. But that doesn't mean I didn't care about her. I just couldn't be there for her. I'm sad but I'm also alright with this. Because of my decision years ago. I hope she finds the person she needs to be her true friend. I'm sorry I just couldn't be that for her.

I'm working on building a tribe that is supportive and positive and full of amazing spiritual people. I know that will take time. First I need to work on me! Because ME hasn't been a priority for a long time! I hope that those of you who know me will stay with me on my journey! And I thank those who have stood by me through everything! Even when I loose touch with reality and fall deep. But I feel I'm finally finding me. Finally loving me!

So please be patient with me if you are in my life at this moment! If you hear from me once in a blue moon, know that you still hold a place dear in my heart. If you are reading this and we haven't spoken in years. Don't take it personally. I may just be stupid and lost touch so send me a message! Say hi! I don't call when I should and I don't always send emails or messages when I should! I know this about me! I know that if we are meant to be in each others lives that you will understand this about me too!

Thank you! And I love you!