Ever since I started working I have almost no me time.
My days consist of this. Get up, go to work. Pick up son #2 and head home to cook dinner. Mon and Wed we sort of eat and then get back in the line of traffic for soccer Come home and get the boys ready for bed and then I'm there myself. Our weekends are pretty full too now that it's nice outside.
I haven't gone to the gym. I haven't been able to blog. I've managed to read 50 Shades of Grey over the past week!
And just now as I logged into google to write something J comes over crying for my attention.
My goal for June is to get my ass back to the gym! Sunday and Monday Mornings and Tuesday Nights. 3 days a week should be perfect!
My next goal is to manage my time better!
My other goal is to not kill this family!
And here he comes crying again! Sigh
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Why I'm taking a break from Social Media!
Your Thoughts along with your Actions create your Reality! This I know to be true!
Lately I have been struggling to play a balancing act with my thoughts and emotions. I haven't been able to fully get a grasp on them. My actions have been what is required to get through my day. However my outcome says other wise. I guess I have to go over and above the requirement to get what I want. Or what I thought I wanted.
I'm struggling with that as well! What the hell do I... ME... want?
What does my IDEAL life look like?
I really don't know.
Ideally my dream has always been that SMB would be more successful by now. Fame wise. They are extremely successful locally. Just come look at my calender and hear how people rave about them! They are by far the most talented, entertaining band in the city! BUT I can not manifest where SMB goes. THAT is not my dream. THAT is something those boys have to sit down and envision together! If they do not all have the same vision for the band or even if Steve doesn't have a clear vision for himself, then it's going to be what it is today. A local successful working band! So I need to accept that and change my dream!
Lately I've been toying with the idea to try and replace Steve's income with my day job and Passion. But that would take a few years. And I'm not to sure if I want to work that much. I'm not to sure I want to do that many parties. Now that I'm back at work I don't want to go out every weekend. I want to be able to have dinner with my boys and attempt to watch a movie and then go to bed early! lol But then again I would be giving up something I signed up for to have as my own. Something that was mine. Something I could schedule around. And the best part of it is that it's always there for me! Whether I choose to work one party a month or 8+. It's mine!
So back to me working my ass off to figure out my want and ideal life...
I want financial freedom first. What am I doing to get this. Well I was booking a crap load of parties until my thoughts and emotions got the best of me. Until now. So I need to figure that out again. Crunch numbers. Make a plan starting from what I would ideally want to make each month and work backwards. What steps do I need to take to get this!
I want to renovate my house and then be able to move into a detached home!! This takes money! See above plan to help with this plan! LOL
I want to travel and take my boys on vacation! Again... money! I've already saved for my trip to Vegas next year! Now to save for something for the boys! Disney World in 5 years! I want Jaden to appreciate it too!
I want a bigger vehicle which I already blogged about calling it my Compelling Vision (which I think I need to change, compelling vision wise not car wise).
I want to be able to spend more time with my husband and boys outside of the house! Day trips, date night, movies, camping! SOMETHING!
For Mothers Day I'm diging up my yard and starting a garden! It better be nice out! Ethan wants to help me too!
And I want and NEED some ME time! To sit alone and ponder! Really. I have been fantasising about taking off to some meditation camp on the other side of the world for a month alone! Eat, Pray, Love style! I also need to get my ass back on schedule with the gym. Ugh
Right now when I look at my life I see complete chaos. My car, my office desk, my house, my thoughts! CHAOS! Even this post seems a bit chaotic. I need help organizing it all! <---- This here is me ASKING for help! HELP!
So along with my financial planning, I am creating a time management sheet! I have also decided to take a 5 day break from Social Media! Which I may extend or not go on as much! I need this! I need a cleanse. I need a break from life! I have so much thinking, yelling, crying and laughing to do with myself to find an inch of sanity before I lose my mind or my family completely! Nothing else matters more to me then my family! That is what comes first and if I have to take a break from other things I originally signed up for then that's what I'm going to do! Until I feel confident in my life, relationship and work the rest can wait! People can call me and come see me! But I'm turning inwards for now!
Lately I have been struggling to play a balancing act with my thoughts and emotions. I haven't been able to fully get a grasp on them. My actions have been what is required to get through my day. However my outcome says other wise. I guess I have to go over and above the requirement to get what I want. Or what I thought I wanted.
I'm struggling with that as well! What the hell do I... ME... want?
What does my IDEAL life look like?
I really don't know.
Ideally my dream has always been that SMB would be more successful by now. Fame wise. They are extremely successful locally. Just come look at my calender and hear how people rave about them! They are by far the most talented, entertaining band in the city! BUT I can not manifest where SMB goes. THAT is not my dream. THAT is something those boys have to sit down and envision together! If they do not all have the same vision for the band or even if Steve doesn't have a clear vision for himself, then it's going to be what it is today. A local successful working band! So I need to accept that and change my dream!
Lately I've been toying with the idea to try and replace Steve's income with my day job and Passion. But that would take a few years. And I'm not to sure if I want to work that much. I'm not to sure I want to do that many parties. Now that I'm back at work I don't want to go out every weekend. I want to be able to have dinner with my boys and attempt to watch a movie and then go to bed early! lol But then again I would be giving up something I signed up for to have as my own. Something that was mine. Something I could schedule around. And the best part of it is that it's always there for me! Whether I choose to work one party a month or 8+. It's mine!
So back to me working my ass off to figure out my want and ideal life...
I want financial freedom first. What am I doing to get this. Well I was booking a crap load of parties until my thoughts and emotions got the best of me. Until now. So I need to figure that out again. Crunch numbers. Make a plan starting from what I would ideally want to make each month and work backwards. What steps do I need to take to get this!
I want to renovate my house and then be able to move into a detached home!! This takes money! See above plan to help with this plan! LOL
I want to travel and take my boys on vacation! Again... money! I've already saved for my trip to Vegas next year! Now to save for something for the boys! Disney World in 5 years! I want Jaden to appreciate it too!
I want a bigger vehicle which I already blogged about calling it my Compelling Vision (which I think I need to change, compelling vision wise not car wise).
I want to be able to spend more time with my husband and boys outside of the house! Day trips, date night, movies, camping! SOMETHING!
For Mothers Day I'm diging up my yard and starting a garden! It better be nice out! Ethan wants to help me too!
And I want and NEED some ME time! To sit alone and ponder! Really. I have been fantasising about taking off to some meditation camp on the other side of the world for a month alone! Eat, Pray, Love style! I also need to get my ass back on schedule with the gym. Ugh
Right now when I look at my life I see complete chaos. My car, my office desk, my house, my thoughts! CHAOS! Even this post seems a bit chaotic. I need help organizing it all! <---- This here is me ASKING for help! HELP!
So along with my financial planning, I am creating a time management sheet! I have also decided to take a 5 day break from Social Media! Which I may extend or not go on as much! I need this! I need a cleanse. I need a break from life! I have so much thinking, yelling, crying and laughing to do with myself to find an inch of sanity before I lose my mind or my family completely! Nothing else matters more to me then my family! That is what comes first and if I have to take a break from other things I originally signed up for then that's what I'm going to do! Until I feel confident in my life, relationship and work the rest can wait! People can call me and come see me! But I'm turning inwards for now!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
A Walk In the Park
Who ever said relationships are a walk in the park were not lying.
They did however forget to mention that during this walk it's going to rain, snow, have hurricane wind storms, maybe a few tornadoes and be a bit overcast. But along with the bad there is the good! Sunrises, sunsets, hot periods and perfect cool breezes!
Here's what I've learned so far during my walk.
No matter how good and strong you think your relationship is. Even if you are enjoying the weather during this walk in the park, your partner may not be! Even if you think they are or should be! If you do not talk to them consistently then you might as well be walking alone! It's going to take work! You might have to walk a little fast, maybe even run! You are not always going to want to speed things up but there will be times when you can just stroll! That is the best thing you could do to make sure your walk in the park is a good one. Adjust! Together!
Make time for each other! Life gets busy! You make choices to create your daily circumstances! You can choose to be staring at your phone or chatting to someone else during this walk or you can put the damn thing away and pay attention to your loved one(s). Be present in the PRESENT! Because you might just blink and be miles further down the path without even remember how you got there!
Help out! If they trip, lend a hand! If the wind picks up, offer a your jacket! If the sun is shining, buy a bottle of water to share! It's not a bad thing to be selfish sometimes but when walking beside someone you must not be overly selfish! You are the only one to make you happy but if you are only thinking about you then why are you walking beside someone at all?
And of course the only thing I personally am working on!
DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! If the wind picks up and messes up your hair don't bitch that your partner suggested to go for the walk in the first place! Get a little messy! Roll around in the dirt and learn to laugh about it! You can't expect life to happen to you tomorrow if you don't get out there and enjoy what you have today! So what if the dishes didn't get done! Right Erin!... right!
But also remember that if you do not accept the person YOU are today, how can you expect others to accept you as well! Love yourself in order for others to love you back! Wear sunscreen if it's sunny out! Bring your own water. If you see a storm approaching, grab a rain coat or umbrella! Be prepared! And enjoy the walk no matter what kind of weather it happens to be! You did make the choice to stay where the weather is the way it is!
Now go enjoy that walk, run or stroll!
They did however forget to mention that during this walk it's going to rain, snow, have hurricane wind storms, maybe a few tornadoes and be a bit overcast. But along with the bad there is the good! Sunrises, sunsets, hot periods and perfect cool breezes!
Here's what I've learned so far during my walk.
No matter how good and strong you think your relationship is. Even if you are enjoying the weather during this walk in the park, your partner may not be! Even if you think they are or should be! If you do not talk to them consistently then you might as well be walking alone! It's going to take work! You might have to walk a little fast, maybe even run! You are not always going to want to speed things up but there will be times when you can just stroll! That is the best thing you could do to make sure your walk in the park is a good one. Adjust! Together!
Make time for each other! Life gets busy! You make choices to create your daily circumstances! You can choose to be staring at your phone or chatting to someone else during this walk or you can put the damn thing away and pay attention to your loved one(s). Be present in the PRESENT! Because you might just blink and be miles further down the path without even remember how you got there!
Help out! If they trip, lend a hand! If the wind picks up, offer a your jacket! If the sun is shining, buy a bottle of water to share! It's not a bad thing to be selfish sometimes but when walking beside someone you must not be overly selfish! You are the only one to make you happy but if you are only thinking about you then why are you walking beside someone at all?
And of course the only thing I personally am working on!
DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! If the wind picks up and messes up your hair don't bitch that your partner suggested to go for the walk in the first place! Get a little messy! Roll around in the dirt and learn to laugh about it! You can't expect life to happen to you tomorrow if you don't get out there and enjoy what you have today! So what if the dishes didn't get done! Right Erin!... right!
But also remember that if you do not accept the person YOU are today, how can you expect others to accept you as well! Love yourself in order for others to love you back! Wear sunscreen if it's sunny out! Bring your own water. If you see a storm approaching, grab a rain coat or umbrella! Be prepared! And enjoy the walk no matter what kind of weather it happens to be! You did make the choice to stay where the weather is the way it is!
Now go enjoy that walk, run or stroll!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Thursday Ponder
Two things I know for sure:
I am really good at my job and I am a very good Mother!
These two things allow me to feel good about myself daily knowing I work hard to make sure my boys are happy! Because right now that is all that matters!
I am really good at my job and I am a very good Mother!
These two things allow me to feel good about myself daily knowing I work hard to make sure my boys are happy! Because right now that is all that matters!
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