I am an Independent Beachbody Coach, an Independent Epircure Rep, accounting clerk, Mother and Wife! Full time job 24/7, I am learning to grow, share & love my way through life! Care to join me?

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Thursday, December 26, 2013

Christmas 2013

It's hard to believe another Chrismas has come and gone! This year I was able to go all out for our boys! 3DS XL, Leap Pad Ultra, a crap load of games, toys and Lego! Got hubby an IPod Nano! And I got Hedly tickets, spa gift card, Starbucks gift card, a skirt and a few DVDs. I'm sure there's more but I can't think right now. Christmas Eve we had our usual McQueen Munchies get together! Food from M&M Meats and friends and family! My brother in law spoiled my boys once again and they had an early Xmas because they want to see them open their gifts! It was a late night getting the kids to bed while tracking Santas ETA for our place! I spent the night being a bit antisocial because I was cooking and then wrapping! Ethan wanted to leave him water and a cookie and carrots for the reindeer! And the house was peaceful for a little while!
Christmas morning came & I was up at 6am... The boys still sleeping. WTH
Ethan got up at 7 and Jaden was a while after. We finally got around to the gift by 8:30am or so. And man was that ever a great experience! Jaden was full if excitement and joy! Ethan was as well! To me that's what it's all about! The boys! Gifts were opened, games were played with and a mess was created! I started on our turkey dinner & built Lego! Our night ended full and watching Pinks tour DVD! It was a beautiful day with family! I am so very blessed! I managed to get a few photos of the boys! I'm going to get Jadens thriller dance on YouTube here soon too! That was a big highlight of both nights! Our little dancer! 



I hope you all had a beautiful Chrismas! My heart goes out to all those back easy with no power! 

Merry Christmas! 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

How I finally quit my job!

I have been with my current place of work for just over 8 years. I started there November 3, 2005! I worked my way around a few different departments over the years but was never fully complete. Over the past few years I have been struggling with Self Worth! Believing that I actually deserve amazing things! And if I ever got close to something amazing I would let fear take over and I would regress!

This summer while I sat at my kitchen table alone sobbing and feeling completely unhappy with where I have taken myself and I asked for help! And I received help. I started becoming more aware of a spiritual world. I was given the opportunity to work with an amazing life coach whom I had already respected. I used to work with her at said place above! She is a woman full of love and sparkle and joy! And she helped guide me to the things I needed to work on! Holding my hand while I worked through a lot! I finally started questioning areas in my life I knew that needed questioning! For the better! I wanted better! I deserved better! I needed joy! And that's what I found in 2013!

My marriage became something so beautiful this fall! Our children became happier! And I started doing things I have never done before! Giving back! My life coach and speakers on Hay House Radio said that if you want something to change in your life, give back! So I gave my time! I volunteered at our Woman's Center for two months! And I applied for an amazing opportunity without doubting my abilities! I trusted! I finally listened to myself and just trusted! Never questioning! Just doing!

Last week I had my first interview in over 8 years! I was so sick too! I actually had to cancel my first scheduled interview! It was bad! But instead of going to a negative self talk and thinking that it may be a sign that I shouldn't do this and stay were I am not making what I deserve and giving more then I felt I received... I just trusted that my body was just sick and rested! I slept for 3 days! I am so very grateful for my husband and parents! They helped out so much! Finally I felt a little better and went for my interview! I didn't want to over think that either! I kept repeating in my head "Just Trust Erin, Just Trust". I thought it was a great interview and new I would work well with them but I left it at that and trusted. Last month I got to courage to call someone seeking an opportunity and he told me I was 6 months too late. I cried. I was so mad at myself for missing this opportunity twice! But after my mini self pity party I calmed my thoughts and told my self something better is on it's way! Gabby Bernstein always says "Something better is on a truck!". And that something better came! I got an offer the next afternoon after the interview! I was actually sent an offer letter! O.M.G I DID IT! I applied for a job over a month ago, went to an interview on a Thursday and got an offer for the position on the Friday! ALL BY MYSELF! And once I got over the initial shock that I did it I got up, found the Controller and QUIT MY JOB! The right doors open at the right time when you believe and trust!

"If you want something you have never had, You have to do something you have never done!" Kj.

That's what I did! That's how I did it! I started questioning, changing, volunteering and loving myself! Your thoughts and your words create your reality!

So if you are finding yourself in a negative spiral with no positive change in sight, start paying attention to your thoughts! I started this years ago when I can across The Mind Aware. Started using Mantra's and post-it notes every where! And recently started doing things that brought me joy!

2014 New Years Resolution is to be more Joyful! Doing things that bring me JOY!
I am starting a New JOB!
I signed up for Kundalini Yogo
I will be able to sign my oldest son up for taekwondo which he's been asking to join for over two years!
I will get two full days with my family finally!
And I will continue my spiritual path, working on ME!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Hopefully I can blog before the end of the year with a Christmas update but if I get too busy I want to say it now!

Thank you for reading my blog! Have a great rest of the year!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Getting Clear on HOW YOU FEEL!!!

WOW!

I'm still shaking and I'm totally feeling like I'm on a cloud right now.

Yesterday I was in a funk! I get them usually around my moon cycle! I loose control of my emotions and I absorb EVERYTHING and take in EVERYTHING.

So I started asking the questions: "How can I change this?" "How can I fix this?" "How can I get out?" "What is the best path for me?"

And the guidance started to poor in.

It started with Oprah's Master Class and the reminder that everything happens for a reason. There is a lesson and a blessing here!

But my biggest AH HA moment was when I was listening to Gabby's radio show and she had Danielle LaPorte on and talking about Desire Mapping finding your Core Desire Feelings.

Today I learned that I need to start focusing and honing in on my FEELINGS!

 

My biggest issue right now is resentment and anger and lots of negative emotions around my growth and change and future!

So where do you start?

Step 1: Acknowledge that whatever it is SUCKS! Get clear on that!
Step 2: Ask yourself how you really WANT to FEEL!!!!!!!!!!
Step 3: (lol) TRUST! Don't worry about the how's and solving this suckiness at the moment.

This will shift your energy! And what happens when your energy shifts? Perception shifts and MIRACLES happen! Because our focus is now on our wants and we see ways to get what we want! And it all lines up! Doors Open when Acknowledgement happens.

And it is true we can not always control the things that happen around us! And we can't always see the reason or the lesson BUT we CAN control our feelings! We can control how we deal with or react around what is happening!

So what happens when you trip, fall down or feel like a failure and only see yourself stuck? Like I did yesterday.

Dana Wild always said to DO NOTHING. This was her advice with my marketing business when I wasn't seeing the growth or numbers I wanted to see. When you start getting into a funk you must do nothing! Take the day off! A ME day! And be gentle with yourself! We live in such an Ego oriented society where we are constantly being hard on ourselves and self sabotaging!

"Sometimes the funk comes in to get you to be still and hear the message" ~ Danielle LaPorte

WOW! YES! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

So embrace that funk, take your day and then do what you need to do after!

But what if you have to do something you need to do because it's where you are at that moment working on getting to your higher self?

Tell yourself this: "By doing this task I will feel joy when it's completed"
This changes that negative story of "Ugh I don't want to have to do this again" or "I hate this part of my job"! Change your story and find the underlying feelings and lessons under it all!

This is totally going to be my New Years Resolution! I can't wait to see Leisa next week so we can work on my Core Desire Feelings list and find a new name for my beautiful Twirly Whirly side of me that I feel keeps pulling me off track! I want to rename her into something more powerful and beautiful that is in line with my new evolution!!!!

Thank you Morgan, Gabby and Danielle and the Universe for all your beautiful words!

Friday, November 22, 2013

The Awareness of Blessings

Today I took a sick day. My friend who watches my youngest has had the flu all week. My oldest had the day off. Dad had a few things to do. I have 4 sick days in a year. This was my first used! I guess you can say I was blessed with the flu early this year on a weekend. And any time I had a cold I went into work but left early. That's just who I am. I am a hard worker for everyone else but for myself!

And because of that I slipped into a mini blue day. I had all these great ideas to do a few fun things with my boys and take full advantage of the day. We managed to have an easy morning watching Ethan play his video game while I drank my coffee, came upstairs and cleaned the living room and had snack foods for lunch. Then it was nap time for Jaden. And that was when my energy fully left me. I got very tired. So I thought I would try to read. That lasted a page. I was asleep until Steve came home for a break. Then I played that stupid Candy Crush game until 3pm. I was restless. Mad at myself for wasting a good day. For not going for a walk or even just going out to play. For not bringing out the paint supplies or baking with the boys. The only thing I managed to do was put a train track together and gather up all those damn Mega Blocks that have rarely been played with to give away. Steve reminding me that there once was a time where everything was closed so everyone could have a day. My cousin called my day a mental health day! 

When I get this way I often find myself in a comparing mind set. Where I look at others on Facebook and wonder why the hell is that not me? Why haven't I created that life? Why this and why that. Then I came across a powerful post on Huffington Post about poor peoples way of thinking. And it got me thinking about the woman I have seen in the Woman's Center while volunteering. And that even if today was a boring ass day to where I got absolutely fuck all accomplished and even if I live in the "hood" and don't have the most wealthiest lifestyle..yet (it's on the truck)...... I AM BLESSED!

This is where I bring my awareness to my blessings. How much I have accomplished in life and everything I am creating now! 

That even if I am not where I thought I would be at 30, I am still young. I have so much to learn still. I'm still growing and changing and manifesting amazing things . Always! 

Today I am grateful for my husband! Our children. Our parents & families. Our friends. Our home, jobs & cars. Passion Parties & the band that allows us to enjoy the lifestyle we crave! I have nothing to complain about because tonight while I type this blog up on my iPhone while laying in bed in my heated house... Someone is sleeping outside. 

I had the luxury of taking the day off for my boys. And for that I am blessed! 


Thursday, November 21, 2013

Becoming Aware of My Self Sabotage Ways

Two days out of my week I am alone in my office at work. Aside from being a Passion Consultant I work in a Hotel in their accounting department. During those two days alone I started listening to Hay House Radio! At first it was because I found out that Gabby Bernstein had a show on Wednesdays. Over time I became a huge fan of everyone! Being a Mother I have learned to tune out a lot of outside noise around me. Including the radio. BUT once in a while I will catch something that draws me back into what they are talking about and usually kick myself for not paying more attention.

Yesterday a lady called in and asked why she didn't have more people around her. I became aware of her questions because I too have asked that question to myself. But I have always told myself it's because I created a busy life that never allowed people in. That started in high school. I have felt alone my entire life. And the people I feel the closest too live in other places. I remember asking people in school why I was never invited to any parties and they told me it was because I lived far away and they always thought I was busy. I once was invited to a party from someone outside of my school and ran into "friends" there! They actually looked shocked that I was there.

Anyway I digress. No need to go into a pity party here. I create my own reality. I am know this. I know a lot of people! A LOT! But if I was to look around and count my tribe it would be next to nothing.  But here is what the host said yesterday and hit me smack in the face:

"It's because you have a Passive Social Attitude! You have the idea that people should come to you and not the other way!"

WOW!

I know in the past when I put myself on the line I got hurt bad. So now I just don't even try. I long for a friendship. A movie kind of friendship. The kind where they do everything together. When I was at a friends wedding in BC and seen she had this type of relationship I was so jealous. That used to be us. And then I moved. And moved again. And what if I choose to move to Vancouver instead of Calgary. Would that have been me up there with her? I love her so much and I love that even after weeks or months we can text each other as if there was no distance at all. But I want more. And because of the kind of life I have created I created a belief that "She" should come to me. Because I rarely experience that. I am very passive. And guarded. Even with those who I know will read this and go WTF Erin... I'm right here! But.... I'm scared.

I don't mind going to people. But it is sooooo much easier if they come to me. But I think that's why I don't see a lot of people. Because most of who I know now all have children around the same age and it's the same for them. It's easier if someone goes to them!

So my goal is to allow myself to go out more. To say yes to invitations. Or even ASK. I have a date this Friday with a friend! We booked it in because we both have busy lives and I love it! So excited! And I said yes to another invitation next month! I went to someone's house this month and it was super cool! Connecting with woman on a personal level! Love Love Love!!!!

I really hope my new adventures bring in some very cool new people into my life!

I'm learning to not dwell on this woe. I'm learning to be grateful for what I have. And I have made the choices in my life to focus on my family right now! I am fully aware of that. And I am still focusing on that. I want to give my boys so much love and I am working on my relationship with myself and my husband. That is HUGE! I know that once I fully find ME that my tribe will begin to grow! And I will be more open to it! FEARLESS! Baby steps!

Another AH HA moment was today.

I always say "I don't know what I want"

Woman are taught to prioritize others needs before their own! And I do this... ALL THE TIME! Even now still. Yes I have made HUGE changes in my life over the past two months. Donated/ing blood, Volunteering, Signing up for Kundalini Yoga and even going to someone's house that isn't work related! But I still talking about not "Knowing"

I have been asking for guidance from out there and they keep telling me to TRUST! I know I want to hear this big booming voice with an answer and I was told I am a "Master of All" but that doesn't give me the final answer to what my WANT or GIFT or TRUE DESIRE is. But I'm just told something is on it's way and to trust.

So I am becoming aware of this comment "I don't know what I want"

When I visualize I see myself helping woman and being in a bright office with windows.

AND I am already doing this. I help woman ALL THE TIME. I started volunteering at a Woman's Center. And I help woman with Passion Parties. WHAT DO I FEEL LIKE I AM MISSING SOMETHING?

So for the rest of 2013 I want to stop Sabotaging myself. Becoming aware of every Sabotaging ways. Making notes and making the changes. And counting my blessings! Bringing in the Attitude of Gratitude!

I have already started posing "Cool Things In My Life" to keep that attitude going. I would love to see this hashtag all over #coolthingsinmylife

Today the #coolthingsinmylife is me becoming aware! Learning something new and just being able to see that things are happening! That I have to TRUST in the process and yes count my blessings!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

WE DID IT! Wild Rose D-Dox Day 7 to 12

Steve and I Halloween Night!

WOW! What an amazing experience that was! We I cried, we craved, we whined, we tried new things and best of all... We did NOT cheat! We completed all twelve days and celebrated by eating everything we couldn't!

I would recommend this to everyone! If I can do this! You can do this! I really want to try and maintain a similar diet without depriving myself! I will continue to make my breakfast and my new smoothies, drink my coffee black with a splash of almond milk, do my best to avoid breads, eat salad at lunch, make my own dressings and snack on nuts, fruit and veggies all day! I lost around 4 lbs doing this and a few inches. I wish I would have measured myself but I can see! I believe if I can keep this up and start walking/running up those damn stairs at work I can achieve my weight goal! But No buts... Erin you need to smarten the F up! Someone call me at work around 11:15am & tell me to do it hahahahaha

We made it through Halloween, my period cravings and a weekend we normally over indulge.

The second week I tried to make a few different meals and our first week favorite Lemon Butter Sole. All failures. I can usually make a really good meal but I just couldn't figure that shit out this past week. It was horrible!

Now to sit down and plan meals for the week that will be good and healthy but not depriving! I'm all for cutting back but not cutting out! Balance! Everything is about balance!

Next on the McQueen plan is to try new YYC restaurants on our date nights. We tried Applebees last night because one just opened by our house. It was horrible. Maybe too much too soon after a cleanse. Steve hated the spinach dip and I have about 4 bites out of my pasta dish. I went for their blonde dessert and couldn't even order it. BLAH!

Here are a few photos from the last week.

Don't forget to check out my Facebook Page! :)


My attempt at Almond Pear Chicken.... BLAND

My new Fav Smoothie! Raspberry, Spinach, Beet & Carrot Juice


Almond Butter Chicken. Cooked it too long. I was the only one who somewhat liked it. If the chicken wasn't so dry...


My Saturday Morning Treat! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Wild Rose D-Tox Day 4, 5 & 6

And I started slacking on the blogging. Sorry! lol

Day 4 was a bit hard. I was zoned out most of the day! I felt like I was walking around in a cloud or a haze. Couldn't focus for longer than a few minutes. I left anything important to do the next day in hopes that I wouldn't feel the same way!

Breakfast was just like day 3! It's really the same go to I've had for a long time now. I might switch it up and make apple cinnamon oatmeal this weekend. Mmmmm

Snacks - fruit and nuts

Lunch. Ugh. I couldn't even finish it. Veggies with hummus and I went and got Salmon and lettuce from the restaurant. I tweeted that I've either shrunk my stomach or my body is just sick of eating this healthy for 4 days in a row. I was craving croissants with raspberry jam this morning and everything in the kitchen smells to die for! Steve had

Dinner = Coconut Lime Tilapia

This was Alright. I think I expected a different. The kids ate it all up.



For a family that lives off of carbs this is a bit tough. I'm OK with cutting back but not having any at all. Not indulging just a little. One finger dipped in honey? One chocolate covered almond? Anything? 12 days of extreme clean eating.... We. Can. Make. It. But something as simple as a wrap at lunch! Can't even do that! Because of the wrap itself and sauces. Wow this has opened my eyes to how much we really dress things up! We are spoiled for sure! I am so grateful for that!

Day 5 was great! I woke up with energy! I could focus! I'm pretty sure I haven't felt that awake in a long time! Without taking Vitamin B12.

Breakfast and Lunch for me was the same as day 4. Steve said he had a sub without the good stuff! LOL Poor guy! I keep giving him a way out but I know he's going to finish this and then yell "HA! IN YOUR FACE!" LOL Both of us were craving sweets. I tweeted "Is it cheating if I lick it?" Of course I had to walk by a table full of cookies. O.M.G

So because I wanted something sweet and couldn't have our normal Friday night pizza I make Cinnamon Apple Pork Loin! Mmmmmm I haven't made that in a while! I love that it's not a million degrees in my house so I can start cooking again! I'm pretty sure I was the only one who really loved it. Jaden did very well, Ethan barely touched it and Steve... Well it's just not the same without my usual sauce I make with brown sugar and flour LOL 



And I course I haven't seen my mom all week & she wasn't aware we were cleansing and brought us a gift...

I sent them home with her! 

I had popcorn to try and substitute my usual Friday chocolate craving! It's just not the same. I will be very happy when I can have some dark chocolate! Mmmmm

Day 6 - Saturday

Made us eggs and a smoothie for me! I had walnuts for lunch. Brought hummus and was planning on getting carrots and celery from the restaurant and I just worked right through it. Picked up more fruit & nuts we can have during the week and came home and had an apple. Made another batch of hummus with sun-dried tomatoes! 



Steve made dinner. Curry-Lentil Lamb! It was really good! That will defiantly be made again!!! I will make more of a sauce next time with the lentil!


Our boys were lucky enough to have pizza! Which tortured Steve & I.



Well I'm off to take my mom out for her Birthday! Soda water night out!!! Lol 

Day 7 tomorrow! I'm so proud we've made it a week! Go us! 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Wild Rose D-Tox Day 3


Day 3!

Morning's are hard. I just wanted to stay in bed and not get up. I made hard boiled eggs and my juice again. Love that mix! I will for sure be adding that into my routine after the cleanse... d-tox. Whatever you want to call this. LOL

Today is also left over day. Lunch is the same with added Hummus to our veggies. Dinner was left over meat loaf, chicken and veggies. I made "salsa" to add to whatever. I don't have spices for it but it was alright. Plus we aren't really cilantro fans. I've picked up more spices for this then I've ever really used. I'm a big Epicure fan! Premixed spices! Perfect. I'm also learning to read the ingredients better! 

Yesterday Steve bathed the kids while I cleaned up. When I walked into the bathroom I seriously started drooling. He used the Bert's Bees wash and yeah. It smelt so good! I love honey! I miss the little bit I add to my coffee but I'm actually enjoying it with just Almond Milk!

All around it's alright but the craving are starting to come on strong and my mood is a bit blah! Working in a busy hotel walkin by food that smells amazing and looks so good is hard! 

Here are a few photos! 



Wild Rose D-Tox Day 2

Day 2.

Breakfast = Fantastic!

2 Boiled eggs, Smoothie (Raspberry, Spinach, Beets & Carrot Juice), Coffee and water!

Sorry slacked on the photo taking this AM. I was running late. Didn't sleep too well. Was up a few times to go to the bathroom. And around midnight I had that medal taste in my mouth and felt a bit nauseous. Told myself it was nothing and went back to bed.

Grabbed an Apply, Pear, Almonds and Walnuts for my throughout the day snacks.

I should have measured myself yesterday morning. However I know I've already lost a bit of water weight. Everything is a bit looser! YEAH!!!!! And it's only day two!!!!

Steve is complaining about how bland everything is. Poor guy. So we made roasted red pepper hummus to go with our veggies! It's not too bad. I might ease up on the liquid it said to add from one of the recipes I used.

Lunch was good for me. Steve didn't like it... again. bland! LOL Chicken with salad. Maybe I'll add apples and nuts to Thursday's salad to help sweeten it up.



Dinner = AWESOME!

Sole in a lemon butter sauce with paprika! O....M....G with wild rice and sweet potato fries. Which Jaden called Nemos! 





I should have taken a photo of our plates after. Mine was pretty dry. I didn't put a lot of extra butter sauce on anything. Steve on the other hand. Well let's just say Nemo could have swam in his plate! It was nice to end with a good meal.

We are both feeling tired but I personally am not finding this cleanse very harsh. But I'm used to eating more clean.

Let's see how day 3 goes.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Wild Rose D-Tox Day 1

For those of you who don't know the Wild Rose D-Tox is a Herbal D-Tox that cleans out your liver, colon, kidneys and lymphatic system by taking supplements and following a very strict diet. I have been wanting to do this for a while. I prepared by reading up on a few meal plans. I didn't get the kit that came with the cook book. I recommend getting the cook book. Spend the extra few dollars! I might see about getting it solo here this week. But I found some cool recipes online and if you are good in the kitchen you should be able to follow the guidelines and create your own amazing meals! In reality it's pretty simple and will turn your usual weekly boring meals into amazing variety!

Breakfast = Fail!

Green Eggs, Cut up apple & pear, Water and Coffee

The Green eggs were not very good at all. I'm pretty sure I put too much kale in the mix. Never again! LOL Boiled Eggs from now on!

He had one bite & asked for his waffle! He ate all his apple & pear slices too!

Taking the supplements and the drops were not bad at all. I put the drops in a small amount of water to take in one go! That was easy! I can do that twice a day! No problem. My husband on the other hand. I'm pretty sure he's asking himself what the F he just signed up for! 



I fried some chicken for lunch to put in a salad but my day didn't go as planned. I had the rest of the apple & pear and a handful of almonds and walnuts for lunch. I took a piece of the chicken as I ran out the door to my next appointment.

Tonight I plan to make salad for tomorrow! Mmmmm Yet I keep forgetting to pick up oil. I swore we had olive oil.

Dinner = OK

Quinoa Meat Loaf!

I really wasn't paying attention to the time and should have turned my oven up. It was good but bland. It's hard when you are so used to sauces with sugar! The boys loved it but they got to smother it with ketchup!

Sorry no photos.

So far the "D-Tox" hasn't kicked in. Just a lot of water! I'm down with that! TMI I go to the bathroom a lot anyways when I drink the right amount of water!

I'm feeling a bit blah today but I don't believe it has to do with the supplements. I have a bit of a headache but that could be from crying over Y&R! Laugh! I know you want to! I'm looking forward to tomorrow! I like the idea of illuminating the bad! I don't have the desire to eat crap right now! But I'm sure that desire will increase over the next 12 days!

Monday, October 21, 2013

My truth about friendships

People come in and out of your life for a reason. I accept who I am and who I am becoming and I accept that it may no long include people from my past. I can not control others perceptions. But I will say this. Do not take my lack of being the upfront kind of friend you may feel I should be without stating so personally! Just like I have learned and am still learning, you can not assume people around you are mind readers! If you need me I will be there! But you must say so! That's just who I am! I will drop my life for my friends! Even those I haven't spoken to in years if they call me needed someone! I love you all! But I am not the kind of person to go out of my way blindly. That's because I have in the past and I got burned. And I have learned in my past to not focus so much on those who drain me. I can't blame them for that. It's just knowing what I can and can not handle. My intentions in life are not to offend people. Especially friends. So please if you want to go for coffee... CALL ME. If you think I'm being to selfish by working too much... PICK UP THE PHONE AND TELL ME. Because I will most likely be sitting on my own couch watching TV on a Saturday Night if I do not have a party! Or in bed early. I love sleep!

Years ago I made a conscious decision to step back from a friendship I felt was draining. And today I think it ended. But that doesn't mean I didn't care about her. I just couldn't be there for her. I'm sad but I'm also alright with this. Because of my decision years ago. I hope she finds the person she needs to be her true friend. I'm sorry I just couldn't be that for her.

I'm working on building a tribe that is supportive and positive and full of amazing spiritual people. I know that will take time. First I need to work on me! Because ME hasn't been a priority for a long time! I hope that those of you who know me will stay with me on my journey! And I thank those who have stood by me through everything! Even when I loose touch with reality and fall deep. But I feel I'm finally finding me. Finally loving me!

So please be patient with me if you are in my life at this moment! If you hear from me once in a blue moon, know that you still hold a place dear in my heart. If you are reading this and we haven't spoken in years. Don't take it personally. I may just be stupid and lost touch so send me a message! Say hi! I don't call when I should and I don't always send emails or messages when I should! I know this about me! I know that if we are meant to be in each others lives that you will understand this about me too!

Thank you! And I love you!

Friday, October 18, 2013

Detox Prep

My husband and I have decided to do a cleanse together! I've been wanting to do one for a long time but fear got in the way! I LOVE food! The not so good for you food! When I was on mat leave I started eating healthier and working out 5 days a week! Yeah me! And then.... I started working again. I have been inconsistent with myself since. Making excuses. Filling up my schedule. Eating poorly again. I've heard great things about the Wild Rose Detox! So I picked it up!

However my oldest turned 7 yesterday. We have been baking cookies, eating pumpkin pancakes and ice cream cake.... oh and this weekend... Pizza and cupcakes!!!!! Oh my! Mmmmmm

I googled recipes acceptable for the cleanse! WOW! I love most of the food you are allowed to eat! Why have I not been this creative before? I am now looking forward to this!

We have also tried to fit in Insanity videos during the week! It's hit or miss but at least we are trying! My other goal is to start walking up the 7 flights of stairs I have at my work during the day! My shoes are currently still in my car and I don't have socks! LOL I know. I know... Excuses!

Tomorrow is Chuck E Cheese birthday party and Sunday is shopping day! I hope you all have a great weekend.

Happy Friday Everyone! :)

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Feeling Defeated

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Deep breath. Try not to cry. Remember what you have learned over the years.

Yet that hollow, painful feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you decide to look into an option of change. FEAR. That. Right now is what I'm feeling. And this fear is always wrapped around finances!

I'm a mother of two. I have a mortgage to pay. Other debt to manage. A life to care for. We are a dual working family. We can not live on one income. Calgary just doesn't allow that. Past choices doesn't allow that. I want to change THAT!

So I thought the best way to look into my potential career change is to volunteer. Over the past three weeks I have applied to every location I can think of, asked friends for advice and nothing. I haven't had a single phone call back. I just want to help, to learn, to see. Of course I want to better myself. I want better for myself. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to help people. But I never had the confidence or the belief in myself to go there. Now at 30 I'm wondering why the hell I didn't do this sooner. Why didn't I feel this major pull sooner. Now at 30 my options are harder to work around. And I don't even know if I could even get into a course. What if I'm not smart enough? What if I need to do more upgrading? fear, fear, fear, fear..... GRRRRRRRRRR

Deep Breath...

Release...

Ok. So. How do I do this? Where do I start? One step at a time. Baby steps.

Has anyone been in my position? How did you get around this? Because right now all I can see is my fear and my only other option is to win the lotto which I never buy a ticket for! HA! Fudge.

Well it's not that bad. I'm just having a woe is me moment! Twirling around my habitual chaos!

I will get over this soon! I will research out my options! I will call people for guidance! If this is something I am truly passionate about and will actually look into I have just under a year to plan!

I have time! But I'm also impatient!

I pray that I can teach my boys to have full confidence in their abilities! To go after their dreams when they are younger! Before they settle with a family! lol

But for now I'm feeling defeated. Stuck.

My photo to help move me from hopeless to hopeful! 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Wordless Wednesday's October 9th

Moments with my 2 year old! 

Searching for toys! Then refusing to clean up! 

Finding him napping in the rocking chair! Priceless! 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The Dreaded Season of Sickness

It's that time of year again! Kids are back in school. Weather is changing and .... the dreaded Cold and Flu season is upon us!

I get 4 sick days a year. 4! That's it! Are you kidding me? I have kids! 4 is just not enough. BUT because of who I am I manage to save them for the end of the year! I will come to work sick in order to be sent home so I don't have to use them through out the year! I'm also blessed that if I do get sick it usually happens around my weekends. If you can call that a blessing! ha! sigh.

My boss and I were just talking about people who are consistently late for work or call in sick all the time and how we both don't understand how they can be like that. I felt guilty saying I couldn't make it to work when Calgary was flooding! Seriously Erin? WTF. My boss says the same thing. There's that guilt the takes over when you all in. But I also know that if I call in sick my job will not get done so it's just hell going back.

I am very lucky that I can depend on my dad now to help. Both my kids were recently sick. I would have needed 8 or more sick days to care for them these past few weeks. Steve and I take half days to care for the boys if we can't depend on my dad. Thankfully we are able to do that!

Then of course because your family is sick what happens? You get it because you are not sleeping and constantly being used as a snot rag. Ugh.

Over the years I have Googled natural remedies for colds and whatnot. Sore throat - Gargle cayenne pepper. Add honey to your coffee and brew it with cinnamon. Try taking Oil of Oregano for a while. Colloidal Silver spray can help keep it at bay. Peppermint, spicy foods, soups, water, water and more water. Ginger tea. and last seeing your chiropractor. Which recently I haven't done because A. he moved and B. I spent what little spending money I have on the above remedies saving my health spending for dental and eye exams!

So every morning and every night I sit and list my blessings. I say thanks for our health even when I feel like a sac of shit! I'm trying to lie to myself! I FEEL FANTASTIC! Yeah not really.

We are Lysoling (New Word of the Season) our entire house. I'm dreaming up a sanitizing kids spray system schools can install in the doorways so ass they walk threw all their kid germs will not be brought home! I know some germs are good but they just don't wash their hands long enough.

I wonder if that onion story is true? Should I put unpeeled onions around my house?

What are you doing to avoid this dreaded season?

Picture from Google! I love Google

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Trying, Changing, Loving

"If you want something you have never had, you must do something you've never done." KJ

This has to be one of the wisest sayings I have ever heard! And scariest!

I have been feeling change coming for a long time. It feels like a light energy wave circling my body. Instinct.

My life has been a constant moon cycle over the years. An unhealthy dance. I would ask for help and support. I would see a little change and then like clock work old habits would start to settle back in. It was an evil game of chess for egos. And I was tired. Unhappy. And well ready for change! For better! I deserved amazing! And I knew that! I was told I had set my standards too high. I disagreed. To who's standards should I set them too? Yours? You don't live my life. So why should I settle? I always get what I want when I need it! And I stuck to my standards!

I started shaking the foundation of my current life. Not always in a positive way but in the only way I knew how at that moment. I got hurt and I needed to heal and learn to move past the past! I wanted to be hopeful but how many times can you give in until there's nothing left to be hopeful for?

I build this massive wall, book a vacation and left! 10 days of tears and anger and confusion. Of figuring out what it is I.. ME.. truly wanted for ME and of course my boys! I had a lot of people give good advice, great advice, bad advice and selfish advice! And I took it all in. But in the end I felt I had to say what I really didn't want to say but knew deep down it would bring what I always wanted! And I was right!

This experience has taught me to be honest with myself. Only I know what I need to do for me. People may think they know but they don't. They can only live for themselves. I know I still have a long road ahead of growth but I can finally say that I tired, I changed, and I have love, support and help! And my family is stronger for it! Healthier! Happy!

"Say what you mean, and mean what you say" E. Simm (aka Papa)

Cheers to the future and maintaining this healthy step! Learning to battle the storms together with love!

"All you need IS love" Beatles.






Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Mid Vacation Ponder

Vancouver & Victoria have been nice. But I still have a lot of sitting in silence to do. I'm entering a new space in this journey and I'm scared! I'm doing my best to take all the information The Universe is giving me and processing it on my own! Listening to your heart is hard! My head and my heart are still in constant battle. My time alone has brought me tears, pain, questions and... Answers. I'm just not to sure tho. 

Anywho we will be doing a few things in downtown Victoria tomorrow and heading back to Vancouver. Taking my boys to the aquarium & a bridge thingy lol I'm not looking forward to going home. Part of me wishes we could stay in Victoria longer. Yes that's the part of me that would just rather run away than face the truth of my emotions and feelings. But that can't happen! We drive back Saturday! I have a lot of photos to go through and share on my blog! I've already posted a few on Instagram! 

Have a great Tuesday night! 

Monday, August 26, 2013

Finding myself one step at a time!


Every day I take one baby step to finding my sanity. Which turned into self-love... But now I'm leaning towards finding myself! 

During my life coach session today I became aware of the fact the I can not stand neediness. It of course stems from my childhood and feeling like my needs were not met. So I learned to deal. On my own. What you hate in others is a mirror image of what you hate in yourself! Hate might be a strong word but this is truth! I struggled with that realization at first! But after a few months I am becoming more aware if this truth and moving forward towards growth! Becoming more aware of how I word things, place blame & deny. Needing, asking, wanting are all feelings I struggle with. I shut down. I have a hard time feeling vulnerable and asking for help! So admiting that these qualities in others bug the shit out of me is a huge step in finding myself! 

I'm very grateful for this moment! This truth! 

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Finished Project

Not my Self Love Project but my Baby Blanket project!

I knitted a blanket for my oldest! So I wanted to do the same for my second. So while I was pregnant I went out and bought the yarn and picked the pattern and started... Just before he was born I noticed I dropped a stitch a few rows back. Being pregnant and hormonal I was very upset with myself so I put the blanket away and that was that!

It haunted me! Every time I opened my closet I felt like a failure! Extreme? Maybe but that was supposed to be for my new baby who was rapidly growing into a toddler.

A friend of my knits. Every time I would be at her house she was on the next item! So I was inspired to finish my project! Let go of my negative hold I had created and move forward!

Yesterday I took a day off and finished it! I am so happy with myself! I hardly finish things I start! I left fear and doubt take over with everything! So this was a big step for me! Even if it seems small to others!

My oldest wants a new blanket so we are going to go shopping together! His baby blanket is falling apart already! He got it stuck on something and it torn! I have a half knitted second blanket already started! But I think he wants a different colour. He was also never big on blankets or comfort items. Jaden is different! If Jesse or Woody or his monkey or Spiderman blanket (which was Ethan's lol) are not in bed with him he losses his mind! So I know this will be a great gift!

I'm happy I completed another one! And this may be the last "Baby" blanket I knit but not the last blanket!


Monday, August 19, 2013

Better Life, Better Me

This morning I took my 6 year old to school. Another mom asked me how I was doing. I smiled and said I was doing good. She saw right through that. She said she could see I'm in a funk and I need to doing something fun!

Do something fun? I already do. But I'm not doing anything that truly excites me anymore.

I want to better myself. Over the past 9 years of my relationship with my now husband I have had 5 jobs. 3 of which were with the same company. All of which were better pay than the last. I went through 2 pregnancies. Bought a new car. Bought a home. Started a business. Lost friends and made friends. And I will continue to look for a better paying job that will allow me to take care of my family. Connect with people who are in line with my inner guide! And continue to listen to my heart.

But that's just me. I am starting to feel like the man of the house. I hate to say this and I shouldn't have to! But when we take away the jokes and the love all that is uncovered is the same old bull shit that I keep trying to ignore!

I am unhappy! I should be the one working harder to provide. I should feel like part of a team! and I don't!

So my next step is to continue to better myself. Find opportunities that will open up more options to pay my debt and have a financially stress free life!

So step one! Get back on track with my goal to use Passion Party income to add to my Student Loan Payment.

My initial goal was to use my bonus cheques only. Allowing me to use what I make at the parties for our family & my business needs. But a few other things came up that I knew about but didn't properly plan for. I want to get back on track. This month I had to get supplies for my business after booking 11 parties so I used my first party earnings to do so. I needed new tires and used my last party to help cushion our account. I have one more party this month which should push my monthly sales to the first bonus level and I can use my party earnings for my vacation to Vancouver! Not to mention my BC party I booked!!! So excited! So very grateful!

I'm also needing space to think. I have a lot to forgive for my own peace of mind and I need time to do so! I need room to breath. I am looking forward to the ocean air, meditation time and home made wine! I want to take my boys to the beach and to a park and enjoy every second of it!

Change is coming! And I have faith that it will be for the better! It always has been for me! My life has always gotten better and every situation allowed me to learn and grow into a better person!

I accept this time in my life as a lesson and I am ready for the next!

For a better life, and a better me!


Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Self-Love Project Day 4 & 5

The past two days I've had to really look inside and be honest with myself! Lets just say the flood gates have opened & I've been doing a lot of crying! I haven't cried a lot in a while! I've learned to shut that emotion off. I just go and hide and will not address what I got hurt from. It really has gotten easier to just twirl around it! 

So after a very emotional session with Leisa yesterday I came home, put a load of laundry in & trimmed the hedge in my front yard. Then I asked a neighbor to help me with my hornet problem! (See parking post for before hedge shot)

These two items have been on my to do list for a long time! I'm happy they are taken care of! I was able to take out some frustrations on a bush! Lol

Today is day 5. You know how flipping hard it is to find something to do for your self-love project every day when you are not used to it? And keeping it different? 
So today I picked Insanity! My mom is currently working nights so asking her to watch the boys while I go to the gym was out of the question. I warmed up prior to my warm up by searching for the damn remote... And then I picked Pure Cardio of all the video to jump into! Go hard or go home right? Wait I am home. Anyway, I did it! And I died a little doing it! But I feel better. Not as good as punching a heavy bag would feel right about now but good enough! 

Dripping sweat sexy! Hahaha

Time to attempt school night schedule prep day number two.... That is a challenge all on its own!


Sunday, August 11, 2013

Self-Love Project Day 3

Today was a nice day! Sundays are my Saturdays. My only day to sleep in. If you count being woken up at 7:15am sleeping in. 😕 It's normally around 8am! It's my family day. My veg day. My day I try and plan outdoor things with the boys! 

This morning was an early rise after a late night. My Mother-in-Law & her boyfriend had a 7am flight back home so they left at 5am. I stayed up late (for me) to say goodbye. My kids were up past 10pm as well! After a busy day I thought they would sleep in! Ha! Right. Wishful thinking. But our morning was nice! Coffee, cereal, cartoons & candy crush! I was starting to get myself ready for Passion Parties Nation Wide Booking Blitz. Their Goal: 5000! Mine: 20! Which is more of an entire fall goal! Last year I did my own August booking blitz & booked 8 parties in one day! Success? Yes! Today I'm currently at 9 booked (3 to pick a date), 5 maybes & 1 consultant wanting to join in September! My oldest played with friends, my youngest had a 3 hour nap which aloud me to work in my office & follow up with emails! I'm pretty sure I contacted over 100 people today! I could have sent more but it was time to do something for me! Of course booking parties was a part of it but my self-love project isn't about work! It's about spending even just a few minutes with myself & my thoughts!

I sat at the table, watched Ethan make a craft & I knitted! I only picked up my phone to reply to those who took a moment to reply to me! 

My night hasn't ended yet but today was full of Love & Gratitude! My husband cooked (BBQ), my children are playing and there is not a care in the world! 

Today was a great Sunday! I hope you had one too! 



Finding My Self-Love Project Day 2

Day two of my Self Love Project complete! 

Saturdays are my Fridays! I work at my day job & usually have a Passion Party booked at night! I get off work with just enough time to get my kit, maybe eat something & head back out the door again! This leaves Zero time for ME... Or spending quality time with my boys! 

However today with the family out doing their own thing I was able to put aside a few minutes to do something for me that I rarely do! 

Paint my nails! ❤❤❤


Friday, August 9, 2013

Finding My Sanity, Scratch that, Self-Love. Taking Care of Me Project!

Finding My Sanity Self-Love. Taking Care of Me Project!

This is an ongoing project! I guess simply put... LIFE!

But for a while I have felt lost! Just going about my day in a daze. No really fire to push for my dreams, always complaining and just feeling unhappy!

So here I go again. Trying to get back on the Finding Me bandwagon! My life coach sessions have been amazing! Reading "May Cause Miracles" was an eye opener for my new perceptions! But I still have a lot of work to do to break old habits! I learned over the past two weeks that it's very hard to not let your Ego take over during a hormonal shift! Yikes! If this was a Tank Girl Comic I'm sure my poor husband feels like this:
Thanks Google Search


Anywho I digress. Back to my Sanity Self-Love, Taking Card of Me Project!

So It's sort of going to be like a 40 Day guide but I'm going to blog about the little things I am doing for ME! Even if it's as minor as putting on my favorite song and spending 3.5minutes day dreaming!

A very wise woman today gave me a tip! I was saying how I barely take time to even wash my own face a night before bed! This is how little I care for myself! That's how little I see my "self-worth" as. She suggested that the first thing I should do when I get home is do just that. Wash my face! She said she started doing this after work and it gave her a bit of a new found energy for the evening and she didn't feel so blah! O.M.G! Can you hear the Angels singing! What a (pardon the language) fucking MARVELOUS idea!!!

Day #1 of my Sanity Self-Love, Taking Card of Me Project!
           
                  Wash My Face! 



What have you done for YOU today?

Much Love!
Erin

Friday, July 26, 2013

Reflect! Day 28

I've been reading May Cause Miracles for the past 28 days!

Even before I started reading I was getting up at least 10min before I needed to and meditating with Gabby's guided meditation! I loved it. I started reading the book and would meditate and read the morning passage and start my day! But then I stopped. I am now hitting snooze more often and getting up way past the last possible minute to actual have a easy flow in the morning. I don't rush but I don't do what I need to before heading out of the house! I'm exhausted. I need to change this story!

I know my thoughts are a lot better! I can feel it! I feel calmer. Sometimes my Ego takes over but I am more able to recognize this and change it immediately! I also feel like I'm complaining less. There are still moments of weakness where I feel I just need to bitch. Hell it's only been 28 days in my 40 day program! I'm doing pretty damn good!

This past week was about relationships and forgiveness! Always forgiveness! I used the hate the word! Especially when it was aimed around someone who has hurt me in the past or even within myself! I thought I would find this week more difficult. I thought I would find these daily tasks more difficult. My Ego is trying to get me to question this process! I am doing good. I am love!

I feel like I have pulled away from people through out this! At one point I was so desperate to be surrounded by people. Now I feel like I just need to do this within myself, alone! The rest will fall into place! I know I am already surrounded by those I love & love me back. I hope they know how much I care and I thank them for giving me space! Even if words have not been spoken to this need! I also thank them for not laughing at me while I go down this path! Even though I know they may not fully understand. It's ok! They don't need to!

My homework with Leisa was to be grateful for paying bills and receiving services! I've done this a few times but not as much as I should be! Today I will be printing the auto payment bills and will meditate around being grateful for having the ability to pay them with ease and being grateful for the services they bring or have brought in the past!

This is a slow process! It's hard for me to enjoy the ride with the unknown coming at their own pace! Knowing I will always have miracles around me and manifesting what I want once I am full acceptance of what I have is a gift! But my Ego makes me impatient! It makes me judge. Question. Give up!

That was the old me! I am finding beautiful people online doing the same thing or something similar around self love and I am in love! I am choosing love instead! The next 12 days will be amazing! An if I have to start over to deepen my process then I will do so with love!

Love and Faith! Words that used to scare me!

Happy 28 Day Reflecting!

Image courtesy of Google Search


Sunday, July 14, 2013

My Body is Light

Today is Day 16 in my "May Cause Miracles" 40 day transformation to believe in myself and make miracles happen!

This week is about body image. This is hard for me because of how I see myself. After having two kids you would think I would see me as this amazing being for being able to do something so miraculous! Which it is! But I don't and am working on it! I am now going from hating my image to loving instead.

However today is the last day of the Calgary Stampede! And I am going down to eat! Bacon wrapped corn dogs, bacon dipped in chocolate, mini donuts, deep fried pickles, cheese steak covering in onions and peppers, potato taco thingy... Mmmmmmmm

I am forgiving myself. I will not put myself down for choosing to enjoy a day of cheating! Tomorrow I will continue to eat clean and healthy (with the ability to treat myself). [Note: Must look up hemp or rice protein powder with no sweeteners]

Today I turn my thoughts over to my inner guide and let it guide me! While I have fun eating crap!

Deep breath in. "My body is light". Deep breath out.

I can't wait! Yeeeeeeehhhaaaaawww Come Hell or High Water Stampede was a success. I think. I don't watch the highlights or the news. Fingers crossed! Calgary needed this!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Hearing My Inner Guide

I have always struggled with my voice. My wants. My needs. Settling for things because they are easier. Always feeling alone. Unhappy. Confused.

So.... I decided to try something new. Meditate.

And when I ask for guidance Passion Parties ALWAYS comes to the front line! Always. I asked for a miracle and 5 minutes later I have a party booking for the weekend ahead. 20 minutes later I have an outside order. Few hours later I have another party booked and a few other outside orders.

So why am I so afraid to be successful?

May Cause Miracles had you digging into these fears. At first I wasn't even thinking about Passion Parties. Of course my fears tied into it but I didn't think about it because I was considering that Passion might not be my future. Until last week. My Passion fears are picking up the phone, talking to my team, following up with past customers or booking parties. But I am still successful. I still work! I have maintained good sales all year with two exceptions. MCM talks about the things you admire the most about someone is what you want. I'm constantly asking myself why it's not me. When I read others success I'm always comparing myself to them. I manifest things fast. So why haven't I with this? I deserve success!

I need to find out what I'm afraid of?

I know this is my key. It keeps coming up when I ask my questions. My Inner Guide keeps pointing me into this direction. I thought for sure I wanted something else. But I'm good at this...

This will be my next thing I need to work on with Leisa. Along side with my own work and budgeting.

I hear. I'm scared. I'm alone. I'm breathing

Thursday, July 4, 2013

The unspoken rule of parking spots

When entering new neighborhoods I'm always aware of potential "parking spots" out side of homes. Meaning if a spot outside the home I am going to is unavailable I am aware I may be taking another home owners regular parking spot. If it's a place I frequent I tend to take note. I used to get really annoyed if my "spot" would be taken when I was coming home from a long ass day at work. You know because walking those few extra steps were a big pain in my young mind. Now I'm blessed with a driveway but we have two cars! I've learned to not let little things like that bother me now. However it's not me on the street anymore. The few times another car was in my driveway I noticed how little it bugged me! Bonus points for my mental growth. 

Over the past week however there has been a new car on the block! I am pretty sure it's a boyfriend to one of the teenagers next door. Last night he parked in my husbands spot. All night. On garbage day night prep. Lol

I didn't think it was a big deal but I can totally see why my husband was super annoyed. (Like I would have been) On garbage day those big ass truck come around and reach out with those big ass arms and do their job. If there is not enough space between the bin, cars & other bin(s) they do not take it! What's wrong with them not taking it.... Our garbage is full of disposable diapers!!! Major gross if missed a week! Ugh... And who knows if this guy understands the space requirements. Plus having to put the damn bin in the middle of my driveway is a huge pain to move around at 6:20am! I'm not all butterflies and rainbows in the morning!

So today I had all good intentions of parking in his spot to save it so this guy wouldn't part there again. I forgot. And he parked there. Again... 

Fantastic! Just another thing to set him off.

So who comes to the rescue? My 6 year old. While playing outside he sees the guy and tells him he's parked in his dads spot! The guy just looked at him and went to his car and drove away! Ha nice dude.

I wonder if he will park there again? Dumb Ass 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

YYC Strong

It's hard to believe that a week ago today we had no idea that our city would be flooded by Friday. Last Wednesday was just another day. Come Thursday the warnings started. The fear set in. The panic. Go home early and be with your family they said over the radio. The Emergency Alerts started to frequent over the radio and I'm sure the TV as well. Just being around that was enough to make you want to hide! Knowing how powerful Mother Nature really is sends chills down your spine! 

I was fortunate. Blessed. Lucky. Grateful. That we lived on a big hill in the "Hood" of the city! Forest Lawn. Away from the river! I told my husband to get water in case they say ours will be contaminated. I picked up groceries on Wednesday so I didn't worry about that. Thursday night I honestly thought that Friday would be a normal day. I didn't think schools would be closed down and our downtown would be completely under water. I didn't think I wouldn't be able to get my dad over to watch them. I didn't think. I had to use a sick day to care for my kids. Filled our bathtub and watched the news. All Day! I don't watch the news. But. This was just surreal! Families being evacuated. Homes being washed away. Roads. Lives. Animals. Even one of our Hippos tried to escape.

This flood has changed our City forever! But I'm very happy to see how people are reacting! Stampede will go on, thousands of volunteers are helping gut basements of strangers homes, donating food, money and clothes to those in need. Opening up their homes so our evacuation centers are not overwhelmed! It's a beautiful thing! I have chosen not to listen to the complaining. The woes. Everyone is going through something right now! There's no point in comparing! We have a city to rebuild!

Because I wasn't affected at all my life goes on as if nothing happened. Work, kids, life! I donated a bunch of blankets, jackets, baby clothes and food to those in need! That's about all I can do! As much as I would love to volunteer my time to a stranger there really is no need! That's how amazing Calgary people are! Because so many are still unable to go back to work downtown they are helping clean up! People are even being turned away! Amazing! Can you feel the love? It's surrounding our city! Soon this will be just another story passed down to our families.

I keep saying 2013 is a year for Change! I can feel it in the air and in my bones! I'm changing again, my life is changing again, and my city is too!

I am proud to be Canadian and I am very proud to say I am a Calgarian!

Thank you to everyone who has given! You're generosity means the world! 


Saturday, May 18, 2013

Books

I'm not a reader. Never could finish a book. Still can't. Well that's not 100% true but it's extremely rare for me to. But I love books. I'm oddly attracted to them. I love going into a book store and walking around. I love the atmosphere, the smell, the calmness. I can see all stories playing around in the air. I love looking at the covers, reading the titles & the discriptions!
I fantasize about being more creative, more artistic! Looking at the journals to fill with stories, the type of paintings I could create or picture ideas, the kind of book I could write. Redesigning my house & yard. Dreaming about sitting on a beach somewhere reading a fiction or a romance. Getting so deep into a story I start to believe it's me and forget about reality and responsibility! 
I love the idea of books! I start to read something & my mind starts to wonder. I have to really focus sometimes to read. It's hard to turn off my mind. There's been only a handful of stories and I was able to fully focus. Harry Potter, The Scandalous Summer of Sissy Leblanc, Narnia, Infinite Possibilities, Twilight and of course Shades of Grey. I guess I think I much... What are some of your favorite books or authors?