I Belong Here!!

For a long time I've struggled with belonging! Fitting in. Finding my own. Feeling welcome and loved! People tell me that I have then amazing energy that they are drawn too and yet I to this day have a hard time seeing it! I feel alone a lot and I am working on embracing this time to find myself! But sometimes that emptiness doesn't go away! No woe is me shit! Just trying to figure out what it is that makes me feel this way! 

I like what I do! I like my job and my business! Earlier this year I joined a group to push myself further. I was on a roll but then my thoughts got the best of me. Or was it the fact that I went back to work. That could have something to do with it! 

Ever since April I've been feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with work, with my business and especially overwhelmed with my home! I feel like I'm the only one doing everything! Planning, organizing, cleaning, cooking, bathing... and the list goes on! Every stay at home mom/dad knows what this list looks like! BUT I WORK TOO. Not to mention a new routine is about to start and I'm sure there's going to be nothing but complaints! But what more can I do before I fall off completely?

This summer has been all about time management, figuring out what I want and what I need to do to get there. And not letting the best of me get me down! Stopping that voice inside my head from convincing me that I am not worth it or I am not good enough for anything better. Better job, more money, better car, better lifestyle. That hot purple dress on True Blood last night! And the body to make that dress look even more sexy on me! 

I was pretty close to shutting down and walking away actually. Like I've done in the past. Push it all away. When I start shutting down on things or people it's hard to get myself back. All I really need is a friend but everyone I know has so much on the go already I'm scared to ask for a shoulder! I feel like a bad friend as it is because I'm so busy with my own life and my own issues. A few weeks ago I signed up for this amazing training weekend! Booked two days off work and hung out with a bunch of amazing people who were doing the same thing I do every day. Live! And work their business! I wanted this to change something in me. I was crossing my fingers it would be better then the others I've attended! And it was! 

It wasn't until this past weekend that I truly felt I belonged somewhere. And it wasn't until that weekend where I finally realized like a lot of people in that room Friday afternoon that "I AM A BIG DAMN DEAL!" I deserve it all! Support, Love, Success, Fun, Friends!

We learned a lot about going back to the basics. I'm trying to do that with everything! Today is the first day of my entire life and I can only move forward one step at a time! Making sure I find that system that works with all aspects of my life! Family, Work, Business and Me time! Making goals and not being afraid of the Infinite Possibilities out there! And of course learning how to promote products and just plain have fun and go for it all!  

I finally thought that Passion is where I am meant to be! It's my thing! It's where I can go when I'm feeling down or need a friend, a hug or just a plain kick in the ass! There's no fear there! Just pure love and support! It's where lives change! People grow! Magic happens! 

I know deep in my heart that I belong here! I am a big damn deal!