2012 was a Good Year!

At the end of every year you hear a lot of people bitch about how bad they want it to end because it sucked. You hear about every one's new years resolutions. How people are planning on changing and making the next year better! How they are creating a new bucket list to make it better! I have a hard time setting goals and resolutions knowing full well I may not be determined enough to keep it!

Here is my wanna list:

Get back on a work out routine
Get back to my better eating habits and shopping at the farmers market
Stay organized (excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor from laughing at this one)
Pay off my student loan
Take my boys on a Vacation to BC
Donate blood! (Thanks Dad for the inspiration as this is a must)
Help at least one person reach their goal
Grow my Passion Team and become an Executive Director (OMG Did I just say that)
Hit $100,000 Milestone and walk across that stage at Convention 2014
Make time for Me
Make a designated Family Night and Date night a few times a month
Get over my fear to follow up with Customers!!!
Ask for help and let it happen!

That's about all I can think of for now!

But right now lets take a look at the highlights of 2012

And that was only some of the amazing highlights of 2012!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

Letting it out

I've been feeling a little low lately. Alone actually. I feel like I'm talking to a wall most of the time. Like I'm speaking in my own language that no one else understands. I've been so busy with Passion and my day job the last few months I have had no time for myself, my friends or my husband. My boys get lots of me time during the week nights thankfully but it doesn't feel like enough. I feel like I have no one to relate to. Lean on. Or even just a shoulder to cry on. I'm scared to pick up the phone because I don't want to seem weak but I am so fucking tired of being strong. I'm so fucking tired of feeling like I have to do it all. If I don't do it it doesn't get done or it's just not done right at all. I have become so overwhelmed I'm having a hard time keeping me in check! I feel completely disconnected from people! And of course as much as I long to be around people I want to be left alone at the same time! It's such a messed up feeling. I'm starting to think I need a week off life. But I also need a week to get my house sorted out and cleaned out and organized. Hell I need a week to put my office in order.

There's so much more I want to say but I just can't seem to figure out how to put it into words.

I feel a bit better! I need to sleep! Hopefully I can sit down tomorrow and write out a 2012 recap! And set some 2013 goals!

Broken Hearts

I am speechless with what I have been seeing and reading over the past 24 hours. I broke down today when someone asked me how my boys were doing. I say it's because I'm working too much, not getting enough rest, feeling sick and my baby has been sick as well. But I cried today because all I feel in my heart is sadness as I'm sure all mothers around the world are feeling. I'm the type of person who absorbs energy. I automatically feel what another is feel just by being around them or seeing something happen.

So now what?

Count your blessings! Believe in Miracles! Be thankful for your life and your family!

That's what I will be doing! I can not change the past but I sure as hell can make sure my future is as fantastic as possible! And gratitude is the best way to do so!

Thank you all for standing by me. Loving me and being there when I needed you the most!

Thank you to my husband for loving me even when I know he doesn't know how to handle me!

Thank you to my boys for being you!

Thank you to my parents for all your support!

This holiday season I will be saying a prayer for those who have lost their loved ones this year! And giving thanks to those who will be around for the years to come!

Love your life, your family and your friends!

I can't blog....

I want to write something profound and meaningful! I have slacked on this blogging thing and seeing if I could "become" something with it! ha! Maybe next year!

But right now trying to put words down is difficult! I've been dizzy for over an hour and Steve is re-watching things that is very distracting. He's going through our PVR and seeing what we can delete. He's laughing so hard the entire couch is shaking!

And even writing this right now is annoying me! I don't know if it's because I can't focus or I'm just lazy!

Anyway... I will do my best to put out something for the end of the year recap and of course my 2013 goals!

Off to put J down for a nap and play bejewelled







!

All I want for Christmas

Is a clean and organized house!

I've come to the conclusion that the only way I will get that is by paying someone else to do it!

If you walked into my house you would know exactly what I needed help with!

Kitchen, Laundry, Bathrooms, Toys...

That's it! I've asked, I've begged, I've cried, I've screamed, and I've written it out I don't know how many times between private letters and this blog...

I'm starting to accept that this is it! My life as I know it! I'm alone with this! Trying to teach my boys to help me and pray that they grow up and help when they are in a relationship!

I should have seen this coming. I should have realized it! But I was young and in love! Now I'm overworked and couldn't care less about love. I want functioning and support! I've learned by talking to others that the only way I could possibly get that is by becoming a lesbian! Really?

Tomorrow I'm going out and spending more of my Vegas savings on a new Kitchen Tap! I'm also going to toss out a bunch of shit I haven't seen in over a year just stacking up and of course work on laundry and start on my office!

I will have my clean house for Christmas. It's going to cost me when it shouldn't. I have people in the house almost daily that could save me money but... They are all men! So yeah!

That's all I want!

Wait... What?

Time is going by way too fast for my liking. Every time I think I have more time to complete something I realize I am already past the "due date". I sometimes feel like I take on way to much with little to no help and other times I feel like everything is flowing nicely!

My son turns 6 tomorrow. I don't even know how to put into words how I feel about that. I'm in awe. I feel so blessed and I'm excited for our future but I can not believe that he is going to be 6! Hell I sometimes can't believe that I have two children!

Last night I made rainbow cupcakes for his class. Tonight I will be making the icing for them. Tomorrow my parents will be taking him out for lunch and I'm going to make his favorite dinner - Spaghetti. With all that I have to do I am very thankful he wanted his birthday at Chuck E Cheese! I do not have to clean my house! I do however have to make another birthday cake! I haven't yet asked what he wants. We have a few pans but I'm sure he'll want Spider-Man! I plan on baking the cake Saturday morning and decoration it Sunday! I get to Party with Angie Friday for her Birthday and I have two Parties on Saturday as well! One out of town! I booked the birthday party for Sunday at 4pm just so I can have time! I need more time! I sure hope he's happy with it all! I know he will be! Especially when he gets his present tomorrow night!

It's going to be a fun filled week and weekend! I can't wait to take photos and share it all!

Happy Birthday Ethan! I love you so much and thank you for everything that you do! Helping me with your brother, your chores and making me laugh when I need it the most! You are an amazing person!

Happy Thanksgiving 2012

Fall is one of my favourite seasons! I love the changing colours, being able to wear sweaters and of course Thanksgiving dinner!

I wrote about it last year here! I'm very proud of my Turkey Dinners! Turkey, stuffing, creamy mashed potatoes, squash, pie and so much more! I love that I have a home I can open up to family and cook for! I still dream about a bigger house, bigger kitchen and dinning room! But for now my home is perfect!

This year I'm counting my blessings! Making sure I remind myself daily how lucky I am! What I am thankful for!

The first thing I always think about is my family! My husband and our two boys! They are my entire world!

I'm thankful for my parents for all that they do for us! I'm thankful for my grandparents for their consistent support and cheering me on every day! I'm thankful for Steve's family and all of our friends! For everything and understand that we are a busy family and being there for us either by supporting our businesses or just to make us smile!

I'm thankful for SMB and Passion Parties for giving us something worth working for! The passion and dreams they both provide! The people we have met and the future they are building for us! They both create who our family is today!

I'm thankful for our jobs (even when we both wish we didn't have to work), our cars and our home!

But most of all I'm thankful for our Health! The one thing a lot of people take for granted!

This year make sure you take care of yourself and tell your family you love them! You never know what life will bring you. What experience or lesson you will be learn from or be dealing with next!

Thank you all for reading this as well! Supporting me through all my ups and downs! My crazy idea's I don't always follow through with! And well just being there!

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?



Rest in Peace Pat! We love you! We will miss you! And we will play the toilet game in your memory! Pass it down for generations to come! Thank you for coming into our lives!