Back to Work

I started back at work yesterday! It was really good! I am very happy to be back. It feels so strange actually. Almost as if I hadn't left on Mat leave. I went in and started my day like I did a year ago. It's taking me a little bit to remember how to do it all again and where to even look for a few things. I'm very thankful I have a few people to lean on for my duh questions. I didn't get to talk to anyone who was doing my job for me for any information that might be important for me to know. The only thing I got from the one person was an email stating that credit card information I might need is in the Urgent box. That was it! No Hi, welcome back! While you were away this, this and this happened. Nope! Nothing like that. I was alone on my first day in the office! Oh well, I am figuring it out! I have a boss who knows what she's doing and great all around support!

Today was a good day too! I felt really good when a client remembered me and told me how thankful and happy she was that I was back! WOW! Really? You missed me? YES was her response! Loved that! I'm feeling special already!

Day two at work for me and day one for day home for Jaden! That however did not turn out so good. He cried most of the day! Just seeing him upset when I got there made my heart sink. I feel bad for being happy I'm back at work. While I'm cramming my brain with relearning and enjoying adult time, he's crying and not enjoying his time. I know he's going to be fine... Until I have to find someone new! Then I have to deal with this guilt all over again. It's this feeling that makes me want to want to stay home! I can do it by booking 5 or more parties to replace my income like I did last month! But it's not guaranteed. And well I'm still not sure it's what I fully want! I like having that extra money on the side with a salary coming in! It makes budgeting and saving so much easier! I also wish maybe I could find someone to come to our house to watch him. Even ask my Dad. But then he wouldn't have the social aspect of a day home. I believe he needs that interaction with others that I didn't fully provide him with during my leave. I sort of avoided play dates and meeting new moms. I didn't want to have to go through that drama again. I hate "mom" drama! It's almost worst then high school!

I have a million things going through my head right now! I have my Passion to do list I haven't gotten to, my new work to do list that consists of things to do and then things to look into and going through files and seeing what "they" did while I was away! I'm happy my co-worker will be there tomorrow. At lease she will be able to help me and fill me in so I don't bug the Front Desk Manager a million times! LOL That's Okay tho, I know she loves me! I'm sure I'll get my pay back next October!

There you have it! Two days in and I'm doing good! Yes my brain feels like it wants to jump out of my head and it hurts so much I want to cry but I expected this feeling. It's the same feeling I got when I first moved to accounting to begin with! Like I said, I'm happy! I just wish my baby was too...