He new me in probably one of my darkest times. I was lost, depressed and nothing made me happy!
It's taken me a long time to be grateful for the life I have created for myself! To love and stay in love with the blessings in front of me today! To stop looking for more! To know that everything IS going my way! Even when hard times come around! It allows me to look at it all as a lesson! To learn and grow! Not to play woe is me and feel sorry for myself! I'm learning to embrace emotions! Acknowledge them and then move on! Even as broken as I may think I still am! I am learning to live broken! Happily broken! Happily me!
But for the past week I've been hiding my sadness. A part of my life is ending. A part only a Mother knows. I am going on day three of not breast feeding. I've known for a while the end was coming. Every time I am alone I cry! I'm torn. I want to continue but I want to stop at the same time. The last time I tried nursed him he didn't take. Yesterday I'm sure he could have. This is where I'm torn. Do I try and continue when he needs that little bit of comfort? Or do I run for that freedom I've longed for. Is this the last time I'm going to experience this magical bond between a mother and a baby?
I might have one last moment with him today! Like I had with my oldest! One last goodbye to breast feeding!
I'm very grateful that I was given the chance to breastfeed full time for both my boys! It truly is a magical experience!
I'm also grateful that my life is the way my friend sees it! He's to kind to my ego!
Here is to the next stage in life!
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