All Smiles today!!!!

This morning I woke up to rain. Most people are bitching on Facebook about it but I find it refreshing. I also woke up happy. My baby slept wonderfully last night. I am able to put him to bed eyes open when he's tired and know he will be down for 4 to 5 hours and again early in the morning after changing him! Love that. My other son slept in his own bed! Bonus AND my wonderful husband came to bed too! Not to mention the guest that showed up last night which makes us all happy. My second dad I call him! He's always here when I need him and my oldest son adores him!

The other bonus of this morning. An old friend sent me a message! That is going to make me smile all day! I don't think I'm the greatest friend in the world. I don't call people. I don't always go out and if you are not on my facebook or have kids I tend to forget about you! Sad but true. Anyways this one friend I've known since I was about 15. And I hurt her feelings by saying what I thought. I tend to do that too. However I also feel if you are my true friend you will take what I say with a grain of salt or have the balls to tell me that hurt or what wrong. It's only my opinion and not always truth. Anyways I said I was sorry and actually meant it and tried and tried to get a hold of her or get her to tell me how she was feeling. The other funny part was we were both pregnant at the same time. So again I would send her messages and called and nothing until this morning. She never said she forgave me however she told me that she was busy with baby and family and learning to be a new mom! And I am thankful for that!

I am thankful for friends and family today!

now if only my mom would see the light. That's another blog entry in it's own!

Hello Brain!!!

I am loving Train Your Brain!!!! Over this week I have been using it to improve my business! "Money is flowing to me Now!" and "Consultants are joining my team consistently!" and "Signing Consultants is so Easy!" AND I have a meeting tomorrow night and had great party last night with great sales and a consultant lead! LOVE IT!

Now to work on home. My little man got the sniffles this morning and would NOT let me put him down. So I couldn't do a thing. Not to mention the dishes were in the sink from last night and my biggest pet peeve is having to do the dishes just to cook dinner. HATE IT! So my loving husband comes home and says "so I called you today to see what you wanted to do for dinner and you didn't answer." Ummm "Yes I know and I called you back!" ... "oh you did? So what do you want to do?"

At this point I start counting in my head and he goes and washes a pot and puts in on the stove to make KD. Nice.

Anyways I avoided freaking out and have come to the conclusion he either really doesn't get it or is just playing stupid to piss me off! So I end up making dinner because I can pass off mr. fussy who is now happy off to dad...sigh... but again. The dishes are in the sink and I am expecting another painful night of me trying to get anything out of him to help get one to bed and tidy a bit.

So how to change my brain. Change my very hatred thoughts towards my lazy husband. But he's only lazy when it comes to housework. Every other aspect in his life he's the hardest working man I know. I just would like some of that hard work to happen here.
I am also to avoid using the word wish, want, hope, try... Everything I am always thinking.

I wish he would help. I don't want to have to tell him what to do. I wish he would just get it. I wish he would clean up. and the best one yet... I want him to try harder!

How about. I love how my husband is so helpful.

I was up from 2am to 3:30am having an argument in my head with him. How the hell is that helping my cause when he has NO CLUE he's driving me crazy.

If it worked that fast for my business ... it can work here too. right?

Either that or I'm going to snap again, and again... until it's broken!

Another lazy day...

My plan today is to organize the play room. I was actually hoping to be done by now but I got lazy. Ok tired. My youngest is being good and napping so I napped too. My oldest played. Then I got up and made us lunch and am ready for another nap!

I also tried to mail a product to a client but because she's got a box address or RR address I can't. I'm going to have to give her a call later and see if she has a friend that has an actually address I can ship it too. I'm doing my best not to get upset or mad. Of course I went after getting a few things from Sobeys. Free Chocolate Cheerios Day lead to some fruit and veggies for mom! yummy lol which also brought on a very upset baby. He sure hates that car seat. And I'm planning a trip to Vic in two months... sigh. Well he's good when he's not hungry or dirty so we should be ok! at this point he was hungry. So I head into UPS with a screaming baby to be turned down again... Thankfully I got a good sleep last night. Not as good as the night before but it was still good because if he was up every 2 hours I would have cried right then and there. But I took a deep breath and walked out. I sure hope this postal strike works it's shit out soon. The Gov't needs to step in and side with the workers ASAP so we can move on with our marry little lives.

So I'm doing my best to keep thinking happy thoughts! Training my brain! When I think about it I smile so I know I'm onto something! I feel good! Tired but good! It's just that easy! Think and say happy thoughts!

The Mr. was sick yesterday and the oldest missed soccer because of the messed up weather we had so it was an easy night. The oldest went to bed as soon as we got home and I was able to get the baby to sleep by 9:30 (which I was worried about because I didn't want him up at 7am) But I was able to do my own thing until I was ready for bed at 10:30! It was so nice to get that time. My goal is to have that happen all the time. Have the Mr. help with bed time so we... WE... can have some alone time! What's that? I'm so busy being annoyed with him and feeling like he doesn't help I rarely thing about that now! So with my new ways of thinking my goal is to love our way to working together with this household. If that doesn't work well I'm sure to find another way to wake him the hell up!

I was talking with a friend and she suggested asking him to do things. Well I do ask. What gets under my skin is that he just sits there for 3min to 10 min before moving. THEN if he asks the little one to do something and he doesn't do it right away ... wow does he ever get annoyed! LOL Where the hell do you think he's learning it from! I'm determined to make this place a more functioning better household. My main job right now is a 24/7 feeding, changing machine! I get a break when I book a party to do what? WORK... That's a break? But he's being nice to me every once in a while where I can slip in a nap!

Well I guess it's time to attack that play room. sigh Do I have to?

"I am full of energy!" "I am full of energy!" "I am full of energy!" "I am full of energy!"

Need sleep and a shower!

Wow was I ever angry last night. Today I'm sad. Gotta love the ups and down of hormones after having a child! If you think this is bad you should have seen me after my first. LOL I was such a mess back then! Now I know what to expect out of my baby. Learning to deal with my 4 year old and I guess thinking my husband would step up the helping a little more this time around. So here's to a new day. To let go of the anger first before I can find the strength to site down and ask him why I'm feeling like we are not on the same parenting style page. And take a deep breath, have a nap, have a shower tonight and be AWARE of my THOUGHTS!!!! That's the first step of "The Mind Aware" program "Train Your Brain". This is how I am going to find my sanity! Between this and TUT.com and working with the Universe, Love and the secret! I should be able to retrain myself in a month! Now to find a buddy to tell me to smarten the fuck up when I start bitching again! If all I can see are faults and think faults then how can I expect change? I have to change myself! I only have power over me. If I can focus on the love that is here and let go of my anger I've learned to harbour my entire life then I will have found my sanity and can move on to better things. But wow is it hard to control your thoughts when they are so used to going off on negative tangents. Like a child really. Makes me laugh when I lose control and I know what I'm doing and know what I should be doing to make it better! Silly me. Positive loving energy is so much more powerful! I'm just finding it hard to keep it around when the wonderful husband is not on the same page!

So Step One: Be AWARE of your THOUGHTS...

I'm going to find a few positive goals and loving words to randomly put around my house to remind me to pay attention to what I am thinking always! And if I start bitching in my head I will do my best to stop it and smell the roses so to speak! I think I finally understand why people meditate! To control one's mind and gain control of their surroundings and life! Love it!

Here's to step one! :) Care to join me?

Finding my Sanity... The beginning of Change!

I'm about to lose my mind. So over the last few days I've been thinking about what someone else did... Start a blog to vent to so they would not do something harsh in reality. So here I am in tears because my hormones are out of wack, my oldest child is refusing to go to bed and I'm tired of feeling the lack of help from the husband. Not to mention I've been breastfeeding my youngest almost every hour today and when I think I can put him down to sleep he cries about 10 min later! So here I am... Trying to find my sanity~!

In this blog you will find me venting about my marriage, my children, my mother and working towards forgiving and training my brain to see the good. So hopefully I can let it all out and let it go! And find the happiness I am starving for! My husband will put more effort into this family, my children will go to bed and help as well and MOMMY WILL HAVE FOUND HER SANITY!!!!

It's really that simply. Helping. Why do men not get that anyways? Oh look a dryer full of towels needing to be folded and put away... hmmm lets just pile it ontop. She'll do it later! Oh look the dishwasher is full of clean dishes.... Let's just pill the dirty ones on the counter. She'll do it later! Oh look she's busy with the baby and it's bed time for our oldest. I'm too tired to care and have facebook messages to send out. He'll put himself to bed even tho he's only 4 and should have a story read to him and some time spent calming him down!

That's about how I'm feeling right about now. That's what I'm seeing. Lack of effort! Which is why I'm probably a bitch in the husbands eyes. And seeing and feeling this is NoT bringing any kind of libido back what so ever after having a baby! Or at least I'm not feeling like I should even try and get it back because I have the gel that will bring it back!

So welcome to the first submition to finding my sanity! I hope you enjoy it and Laugh a little ... Sorry got interupted and have no idea what else I was going to say!

I'm off to take care of the hiccups this baby has and maybe get some sleep!