I am giving myself one more day to say "Fuck You World"!
I'm so sick of the unknown and the bad news and the questions and stress and cancellations. I'm sick of other people putting their nose in business they have no right being in or demanding things and being fucking clueless about the entire scenario! And how about doing a shitting job at what you are supposed to be good at. Fuck is it really hard to put a toilet on right? Do I have to fucking do everything?
I'm also so tired of being angry, hurt, lonely, confused and tired. I'm also tired of being bitchy. I hate being in a bad mood. It gets you no where.
So tomorrow is my last day. If you want to give me bad news or cancel a party or send me yet another bill we can't afford... then tomorrow is your day! After that I am closed for business!
December I will be turning up the good music, my train your brain CD's and reading the Secret and Infinite Possibilities book! I will be putting up the decorations and baking with my son and possibly picking up some Christmas artsy crafty shit to make with him as well! He's a very artsy person!
December I will return back to my noble self where everything does happen for a reason and people do create their own reality (hence the shitty ass month filled with my shitty ass thoughts) and I can only control myself and my destiny!
I have two young boys and need a home filled with joy and laughter! No more tears. Please. I'm so done with crying.
I want a good Christmas this year. It's Jaden's first Christmas! It's going to be special!
Great food, Family and Friends!
Right now I'm still on my "WHAT THE FUCK" thoughts!
December I will keep this is mind:
"While it's often fashionable to dwell upon what might have been, Erin, what's usually overlooked is that really and truly, it couldn't have.
Because, invariably, any romanticized versions of how things "might have been," are based upon fictionalized versions of the past.
Un-hun,
The Universe"
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
What ever happened to "Til Death Do Us Part"?
Did you know that every 10 seconds someone in this world is getting a divorce? Really?
Lately that's all you are hearing about on TV. There was the big ass Kardashien divorce and now Ashton & Demi. My first thought is who cares but then I wonder why? Why can they not make it work or why the hell did they marry in the first place? Was it love, money or publicity? Why is the divorce rate so high? Why are people giving up so easily?
I'm sure like most woman I remember fantasising about what kind of man I was going to marry. Where and when my wedding would be. What my life would look like after the fact. How many kids we would have and so on.
The truth. It's nothing like I imagined.
Marriage is HARD!
Think about it. Living with anyone, relationship or not is not easy at all. And then you have to create a joint life together! You have to manage to balance your time wisely and learn how not to set of ticking time bombs of bickering. The things you used to love becomes the things you hate and nothing is ever enough.
But then there's the love and the friendship. There's that one person you call first when things go wrong. Unless you want to bitch about your significant other then you call your BFF!
Of course there are certain situations that are a great cause for divorce! But when it's a normal relationship hitting a rough patch then divorce is (in my opinion) an chicken shits way out!
When you think about a relationship going wrong you can not just look at the other party and point your finger! It takes two to make things work!
If your significant other cheats on you then you have to question why? About 70% of men and woman have affairs! Obviously there was a communication breakdown between you two. Often it's because emotional needs are not being met. You would think it was sexual but it often isn't the case.
When I look at my own marriage I often think WTF. I don't often feel like I'm being heard or my needs are not being met so I shut down. Then I get mad. Then I have my monthly meltdown. I tend to bottle things up until I explode! Now you would think he would clue in but no. He hasn't yet! (He's going to read this and hate me for it LOL but maybe he'll get it! I love you) But that does not make me want to go out and find something else. The so called ideal "Hall Pass" does not appeal to me at all. Because even if my marriage was ever to end the same issues in this relationship would probably be the same in the next! How do I know this. I have been told and heard from people who have been married more then once say so.
"If I would have know the problems would be the same in my second marriage I would have just stayed with the first" Unknown
You have to look inside yourself! You can not be happy in a relationship if you are not happy with yourself! If you are not happy with one then what makes you think the other will be any different?
And then once kids are involved the dynamic of it all changes and makes it even harder!
But at the end of the day I hope it's worth it! The choices, the feelings, the time!
If your relationship is not where you would like it to be I suggest you go out for dinner and talk! Your relationship is important! Know and understand the others expectations, needs and wants and always make time for each other! AND NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY!
And if your bedroom life needs a little spicing up I can help you there too! ;) www.majesticpassion.com *Shameless Advertising*
Now go on your date and let's bring that divorce rate down!
Lately that's all you are hearing about on TV. There was the big ass Kardashien divorce and now Ashton & Demi. My first thought is who cares but then I wonder why? Why can they not make it work or why the hell did they marry in the first place? Was it love, money or publicity? Why is the divorce rate so high? Why are people giving up so easily?
I'm sure like most woman I remember fantasising about what kind of man I was going to marry. Where and when my wedding would be. What my life would look like after the fact. How many kids we would have and so on.
The truth. It's nothing like I imagined.
Marriage is HARD!
Think about it. Living with anyone, relationship or not is not easy at all. And then you have to create a joint life together! You have to manage to balance your time wisely and learn how not to set of ticking time bombs of bickering. The things you used to love becomes the things you hate and nothing is ever enough.
But then there's the love and the friendship. There's that one person you call first when things go wrong. Unless you want to bitch about your significant other then you call your BFF!
Of course there are certain situations that are a great cause for divorce! But when it's a normal relationship hitting a rough patch then divorce is (in my opinion) an chicken shits way out!
When you think about a relationship going wrong you can not just look at the other party and point your finger! It takes two to make things work!
If your significant other cheats on you then you have to question why? About 70% of men and woman have affairs! Obviously there was a communication breakdown between you two. Often it's because emotional needs are not being met. You would think it was sexual but it often isn't the case.
When I look at my own marriage I often think WTF. I don't often feel like I'm being heard or my needs are not being met so I shut down. Then I get mad. Then I have my monthly meltdown. I tend to bottle things up until I explode! Now you would think he would clue in but no. He hasn't yet! (He's going to read this and hate me for it LOL but maybe he'll get it! I love you) But that does not make me want to go out and find something else. The so called ideal "Hall Pass" does not appeal to me at all. Because even if my marriage was ever to end the same issues in this relationship would probably be the same in the next! How do I know this. I have been told and heard from people who have been married more then once say so.
"If I would have know the problems would be the same in my second marriage I would have just stayed with the first" Unknown
You have to look inside yourself! You can not be happy in a relationship if you are not happy with yourself! If you are not happy with one then what makes you think the other will be any different?
And then once kids are involved the dynamic of it all changes and makes it even harder!
But at the end of the day I hope it's worth it! The choices, the feelings, the time!
If your relationship is not where you would like it to be I suggest you go out for dinner and talk! Your relationship is important! Know and understand the others expectations, needs and wants and always make time for each other! AND NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY!
And if your bedroom life needs a little spicing up I can help you there too! ;) www.majesticpassion.com *Shameless Advertising*
Now go on your date and let's bring that divorce rate down!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Slowly but surely!
November has proven to be a hard month! But a month to help me question and grow!
I have been somewhat keeping to my new way of eating! I don't get down on myself! I'm only human with two kids and sometimes a Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwich is what is needed when you are tired!
I also haven't been going to the gym my 3 to 4 times a week due to helping with school trips, going to the Hospital and other appointments.
I went Sunday to my "Take It Off" paid program. I walk in after two weeks of not seeing the gym and walk over to that scale! Say a little Prayer and step on...
139lbs Baby!
Fuck Yes! Something good out of this bitter sweet month! I continue to lose a pound a week! Beautiful! I am 9 lbs away from my goal! 4 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight! I am feeling goooooood! I also put on a bathing suite yesterday and didn't cringe when I looked in the mirror! Of course I do not have that perfect body. I still have my love handles and mini baby pouch and do I dare say cellulite... sigh. But I felt good! I can see myself getting smaller! I heard it was hard losing weight after your second but I think I'm doing pretty damn good!
So by January I should be at my goal! I need to factor in Christmas food so I'll give myself a break LOL I will be happy if I get to my pre-baby weight! I just want to push a little farther because I can! I want to enter my 30's feeling hot and I have a year and 3 months until I have to face that stage in life!
I have been somewhat keeping to my new way of eating! I don't get down on myself! I'm only human with two kids and sometimes a Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwich is what is needed when you are tired!
I also haven't been going to the gym my 3 to 4 times a week due to helping with school trips, going to the Hospital and other appointments.
I went Sunday to my "Take It Off" paid program. I walk in after two weeks of not seeing the gym and walk over to that scale! Say a little Prayer and step on...
139lbs Baby!
Fuck Yes! Something good out of this bitter sweet month! I continue to lose a pound a week! Beautiful! I am 9 lbs away from my goal! 4 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight! I am feeling goooooood! I also put on a bathing suite yesterday and didn't cringe when I looked in the mirror! Of course I do not have that perfect body. I still have my love handles and mini baby pouch and do I dare say cellulite... sigh. But I felt good! I can see myself getting smaller! I heard it was hard losing weight after your second but I think I'm doing pretty damn good!
So by January I should be at my goal! I need to factor in Christmas food so I'll give myself a break LOL I will be happy if I get to my pre-baby weight! I just want to push a little farther because I can! I want to enter my 30's feeling hot and I have a year and 3 months until I have to face that stage in life!
Monday, November 14, 2011
When it rains...
November has been turning out to be a month not on our side. Of course when it comes to life happening I wonder what I've been thinking to bring all this on!
First Dave. Dave's life has changed forever. And so has ours. Dave was a big part of our life and always will be. We will be there for him every step of the way. But still is say What The Fuck... and I'm still left wondering why him?
Next the total bill to fix our son's teeth. Over $2200. Again WHAT THE FUCK. Here I get extremely made at myself for not being more diligent. Yes we brushed his teeth but we hardly flossed them and I still feel like a failure as a mother. But we learn and we change! $2200 fucking later! Thankfully we have coverage! Between Hubby's 80% and my health spending plan we should be able to have the entire amount covered! However we must pay upfront first! Thankfully we have a credit card!
Now the icing on the cake! The pebble that broke the camels back! The one last bit of news that sent me over the moon with frustration. We have to get our plumbing fixed! I don't know how much this is going to cost as we have yet to have an estimator come in but we have been told it could be a few grand!
How so you ask. Well let me tell you... You might want to sit down for this one!
Saturday night I had to pee and hubby was using the bathroom upstairs. So as I'm doing my business I'm thinking how thankful I was for having two toilets in the house at a time like this! Yes. Very thankful! Then I flush and it doesn't go down. Fuck. So I plunge and what starts coming up out of the shower... I'll spare you the details but I'm sure you can imagine! FUCKING HELL!!!
I decide to try and fix thislittle problem myself. $50 later at home depot (gloves, screws for gate and a $26 $40 snake) and it doesn't work. I call a friends husband and he tells me I'm going to have to remove the toilet and try to snake it 10 to 15 times however the fumes can be a bit deadly for the family! FUCK and after telling hubby this he says he's not letting me do that! So he calls a plumber. $300 later, toilet off and camera down we are advised that our lines have a few sags that need to be fixed. Not only that but the dumb asses who renovated the bathroom didn't set the toilet on right and it would take the plumber two hours to put back on because he'd have to cut the tile. AND they are not sure if our City Shut Off Valve is broken or just propped open! Fixing the valve is $1000 alone! FUCK! And fixing the pipes we have to rip up the floor in the bathroom and laundry room! Dear Universe. When I said I wanted to renovate the bathrooms I was thinking SOAKER TUB AND LINO! Note to self.. Clarify!
And how the hell do they get "sags" anyway? I need to Google this shit! Pun intended!
So I lost it inside my head and on Facebook LOL. I also have to say goodbye to saving for my hardwood floors through out our home for at least another few years! AND we do not have a second toilet any more! Which sucks because we have my Dad here for a little bit and then Hubby's mom is coming for Christmas!
What happened to being grateful for things? So what being grateful for a second toilet means it's being taken away? Fuck you!
BUT I have to remember this isn't the end of the world! Everything happens for a reason! Even if I can't see the reason right now. And it always works out in the end!
AND everyone is alive! My family is healthy! We still have a useful bathroom and a roof over our heads! Not to mention the killer savings I'm going to get on my Dyson thanks to Passion Parties bonus cheques and my mom! Yeah!
Now all I need is a few more parties to get me through Christmas!
Sigh...
First Dave. Dave's life has changed forever. And so has ours. Dave was a big part of our life and always will be. We will be there for him every step of the way. But still is say What The Fuck... and I'm still left wondering why him?
Next the total bill to fix our son's teeth. Over $2200. Again WHAT THE FUCK. Here I get extremely made at myself for not being more diligent. Yes we brushed his teeth but we hardly flossed them and I still feel like a failure as a mother. But we learn and we change! $2200 fucking later! Thankfully we have coverage! Between Hubby's 80% and my health spending plan we should be able to have the entire amount covered! However we must pay upfront first! Thankfully we have a credit card!
Now the icing on the cake! The pebble that broke the camels back! The one last bit of news that sent me over the moon with frustration. We have to get our plumbing fixed! I don't know how much this is going to cost as we have yet to have an estimator come in but we have been told it could be a few grand!
How so you ask. Well let me tell you... You might want to sit down for this one!
Saturday night I had to pee and hubby was using the bathroom upstairs. So as I'm doing my business I'm thinking how thankful I was for having two toilets in the house at a time like this! Yes. Very thankful! Then I flush and it doesn't go down. Fuck. So I plunge and what starts coming up out of the shower... I'll spare you the details but I'm sure you can imagine! FUCKING HELL!!!
I decide to try and fix this
And how the hell do they get "sags" anyway? I need to Google this shit! Pun intended!
So I lost it inside my head and on Facebook LOL. I also have to say goodbye to saving for my hardwood floors through out our home for at least another few years! AND we do not have a second toilet any more! Which sucks because we have my Dad here for a little bit and then Hubby's mom is coming for Christmas!
What happened to being grateful for things? So what being grateful for a second toilet means it's being taken away? Fuck you!
BUT I have to remember this isn't the end of the world! Everything happens for a reason! Even if I can't see the reason right now. And it always works out in the end!
AND everyone is alive! My family is healthy! We still have a useful bathroom and a roof over our heads! Not to mention the killer savings I'm going to get on my Dyson thanks to Passion Parties bonus cheques and my mom! Yeah!
Now all I need is a few more parties to get me through Christmas!
Sigh...
Friday, November 4, 2011
Everything happens for a reason
I say this often. Everything happens for a reason. There is a lesson in everything. But on a day like today I say WHAT THE FUCK.
How the hell do you find reason in pain and suffering? How the hell do you not ask WHY? How the hell do you not just get so mad at the Universe.
And then what about "Thoughts Becomes Things" and "You Create Your Own Destiny"
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
How do you not question everything?
But again. There is a reason. We may never know that reason but our souls wanted to endure this for whatever reason that is. It's hard. And it's going to get harder.
I am still praying for a Miracle. Please please please please please send us a Miracle.
How the hell do you find reason in pain and suffering? How the hell do you not ask WHY? How the hell do you not just get so mad at the Universe.
And then what about "Thoughts Becomes Things" and "You Create Your Own Destiny"
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
How do you not question everything?
But again. There is a reason. We may never know that reason but our souls wanted to endure this for whatever reason that is. It's hard. And it's going to get harder.
I am still praying for a Miracle. Please please please please please send us a Miracle.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Hold the ones you love close!
My days went from bitching in my head and thinking of a funny bitchy blog post about how Mothers who breastfeed should NOT get sick and my Christmas wish list in honour of my sons constant I WANT THAT (AND I will work on that one day) to praying for a very close friend as he fights for his life!
Promise me please that while you read this you count your blessings! That you will put your ego aside and give thanks and love to everyone and everything. That you stop judging others and what you see. That you will go home and hug your kids and kiss your significant other and tell them that you love them! That you pick up the phone and call your close friends to say and check on them! AND if you know someone single call them! You never know what could happen in 1 second!
Today I'm thankful for my husband, my boys and the rest of my family! I'm very very very thankful for Jen who saved Dave's life! I'm praying that tomorrow we will be working with them on the road to recovery!
I will no long speak of negative what ifs! I will only speak of the power of intention and prayer and miracles!
Every day is a blessing! Every breath is a miracle! Every vision is magic! If you can't change something then change your attitude towards it! Give it LOVE! And never underestimate the power of a hug!
Thank you so much for reading this! Now go share some love!!!!
Promise me please that while you read this you count your blessings! That you will put your ego aside and give thanks and love to everyone and everything. That you stop judging others and what you see. That you will go home and hug your kids and kiss your significant other and tell them that you love them! That you pick up the phone and call your close friends to say and check on them! AND if you know someone single call them! You never know what could happen in 1 second!
Today I'm thankful for my husband, my boys and the rest of my family! I'm very very very thankful for Jen who saved Dave's life! I'm praying that tomorrow we will be working with them on the road to recovery!
I will no long speak of negative what ifs! I will only speak of the power of intention and prayer and miracles!
Every day is a blessing! Every breath is a miracle! Every vision is magic! If you can't change something then change your attitude towards it! Give it LOVE! And never underestimate the power of a hug!
Thank you so much for reading this! Now go share some love!!!!
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