A reflection on 2011

The more I think about this past year the more I realize how amazing it actually was! I can not let the few bad circumstances ruin one of the most beautiful experiences of my life! I will not dwell on the pain I felt when Dave had his stroke. No I am going to reflect on the amazing Miracles of 2011!

The birth of our second son!
The fact that I... ME... had a home birth!
I was able to continue my business after having Jaden!
Ethan's transition to Kindergarten!
My growth to better my body!
Dave's amazing story of survival!
The love my husband and I share!

That is 2011! Miracles!

The beginning of the year started like any other. Setting a New Years Resolution which now today I'm not 100% sure I can remember what it was. I think it was along the lines of "Believing in myself" which is still a work in progress. I can say that I have grown this year! I have taken a step closer to this goal!

We then started preparing for the birth of our son Jaden! I had planned for a home water birth! Steve was not 100% behind me on this. I had a lot of negative feedback. But I felt in my heart that this was what the baby and I needed! It was as if he was telling me to do it. I had this unexplainable pull towards the water. Maybe being an Aquarius had something to do with it? Or I'm just crazy LOL

My home water birth was a blissful success! Everything went as planned! If planning can ever actually happen with birth! Our baby was beautiful and healthy! Pure perfection! This new life was not as hard as I was expecting! Two kids! This is easy!

I continued to work my Passion Party business! I even worked a party 4 days after giving birth! No one can give me any excuse other then they just don't want to when it comes to joining my team or following through with their own business! If I can do it! Anyone can do it! It's all yet another perception about their own belief of themselves and their ability! I set my goals at $500 a month and only fell short in November! Amazing! I am very proud of myself! Tackling my office and organizing for taxes will be another story tho!

My oldest son started Kindergarten this year too! I had a pregnant meltdown at the beginning of the year because I didn't want our son to go to school in the area where we live. I couldn't get him into the school I at the time believed to be better and fell apart! Thankfully I have a very wise husband to bring me back to reality. The reality was that the school a block away from us is amazing and it's not the school that makes the kids... it's us! Helping him after school to solidify what he learned that day! Spending the time helping him learn to read, understand time lines, letters, numbers and writing! And he is doing spectacular! He's very artistic as well! I am on proud mom!

This year I also wanted to work on myself! I want to look in the mirror and smile! I want to be able to put on an outfit and feel confident! There were a few times we'd go to the mall after Jaden was born and I would leave stores in tears because I didn't like how everything was fitting. I felt fat. I hated the people who had children and didn't even show it right after. I was pissed of at the media world and actors who can afford those personal trainers so they were a size 0 after. I needed to take a step back and stop that thinking. I had to remember that I was never "skinny". I was never a size 0... No! I'm a size 8! I have muscles. I needed to remember that I was a very fit person and I had to give myself time! It's true when they say it takes 9 months to put on the weight and 9 months to take it off! My son is almost 9 months old and I weigh less then I did when I started! I joined the gym, changed my diet and started believing in my ability to look good! I can now look in the mirror and smile! I still want to tone and I still need to slim down in my mid section but I now know I can do it! 2012 is going to challenging with going back to work and finding the time to go to the gym but I will do it!

There were some pretty stressful times through out the year with my second family. My husbands band. I roll my eyes at so much and bit my tongue. But none of that compared to the phone call I got November 2nd at 3am. At that moment life changed for a lot of people. Steve's Guitar Player Dave had a Blood Clot Stroke. We were told he would die. We prepared for death. We cried for days. I still cry. There was and still is a lot of anger and frustration to why him. But 2011 brought me my second miracle! He is still here and working hard every day at recovering! He is truly a miracle! Of course so much has changed for Dave and the band. We do not know what the future holds. That will be up to Dave. But we are all so thankful he pulled through and stand behind him every step of the way! The band will have some challenges in 2012 but with every change they have every had came something great! And we are all still praying that Dave can return!

And lastly! My marriage! I have had a bit of a roller coaster ride of emotions this year! Hormones are an interesting thing. My poor husband had to deal with my bullshit, my doubts, my worries, my fears, my sadness. And he did great! Over Christmas I realized that all of it was dumb and possibly something I allowed others to make me think. Allowing what others would say to stir the pot a little and make me believe things that really aren't true! I have a simple marriage! It doesn't take much for us to be happy with each other! We don't depend on a lot. We don't have crazy expectations. Other then my obsession with cleaning. We don't need to purchase crazy expensive gifts or state on social media our undying love for each other! I don't expect him to be home at any hour when I know he's working day or night! We drive each other crazy! We are not perfect! But our love for each other is pure! We have our life together and our life apart! He has his band and I have Passion Parties! In the end we both agreed. All we need is each other! And a night out alone more then we have had.

I am very thankful for 2011! Thankful for my husband, our two boys and our friends and family that stand by us! I'm thankful I have a job to go back to next year. For my car that will get me where I need to be and for my home that keeps my family safe and warm. We are truly blessed, Steve and I!

My life is a blessing! Miracles all around!

Happy New Year Everyone! Here's to a great 2012! Full of more Miracles and Blessings!