If only I knew better

I feel like a bad mom! I know I'm not but that doesn't make it ok. My 5 year old son has cavities. We took him to get his teeth cleaned and she took an xray and found over 6 of them. Two are bad because we can see them just by looking in!

But get this. He had his teeth checked at school by a Dental Hygienist and they said there were no visible cavities! Ummmm excuse me? I can see one on the bottom. He's got one up top too! WTF If I would have gotten this report prior to taking him to get his teeth cleaned I wouldn't have rushed but because I could see a grey spot on one tooth I made the appointment! I COULD SEE ONE! What the hell were they looking at? Maybe I should change my profession to Dental Hygienist instead of Accountant!

So ok. After my depressing eye and teeth exam for my son and many tears from me at night feeling horrible we get to his appointment to fix one cavity and to make an appointment the week after to do the other one and plan from there! All is good! He's excited! We get there, he sits down! Good good. Get's the freezing gel in his gums! good... Needle goes in.. And... Screaming! Then he refuses to open his mouth! FML We need a specialist! So that should be fun! I have to wait for a place to call me to book an consult in November and hope we can do this before Christmas! It's going to cost us out of pocket and wait for our benefits to pay us back. Hopefully all of it! That all depends on what I have left on mine!

The thing is it's not like we never brushed or flossed his teeth. We just didn't floss enough. She said that over 80% of children have cavities in between the back molars due to lack of flossing. That's it. Simple! Fuck! So now we have a better routine down with school in place! Thank you School!

I also had another mental battle! He's going to lose these teeth! What if our benefits don't cover it all? Our budget is tight. Do we need to do this now?

Here is the research I have found!

"Cavities are the result of a bacterial infection. The infection leads to demineralization of teeth. The demineralization can result in cavities because the enamel is unsupported and collapses. The infection spreads and can cause severe pain and suffering in children. Healthy baby teeth support infant and toddler eating, speech development and establish a healthy environment for permanent teeth that erupt later in life. Healthy baby teeth are also the best space maintainers for permanent teeth" Medicinenet.com 


Basically if you can see a dark spot on a tooth it's severe and needs to be taken care off A.S.A.P because it's already in the extreme stages and risks moving down to the roots which are creating a stable route for permanent teeth. If the bacteria decays these routes and these teeth have to be pulled too soon you can risk larger problems with their permanent teeth and costing you more money in the end. Plus also risk a chance that the bacteria can move to those teeth before they even come up! Not good! Yes he's going to lose those teeth but it could be years before that and bacteria spreads in 2 hours on food and counters... I can only imagine how fast it grows in our body! yuck.

So we are taking care of them now sounds a lot better then waiting for them to get worse before they fall out. Which is most likely to happen then them falling out before they get worse!

Here is what you need to do to avoid going through the same thing!

When they get their teeth! Start flossing and brushing twice a day! Get those cool little flossing plastic thingies LOL

At the age of TWO take them to see a dentist and follow their directions! If you have to fix them do it! Do NOT wait! Find a way to pay for it if you are not covered! Their teeth are important!

I feel bad that my Little Mr. is my guinea pig child and I'm learning from him in hopes that my Little man doesn't go through the same thing but aren't all first borns our tester babies? lol

There you have it! My experience thus far with my son and his teeth!

Smile! LOL

Lessons!

Ah yes lessons! Life is just one big fat freaken lesson! You can either laugh, learn and move on or you can fall apart! I fell apart and am now ready to move on and laugh at myself! I am choosing now to dwell on my stupidity and to never speak of it again. It's done. Over. Past! It's nice knowing I'm not the only one.

I allowed myself to get low over the past few weeks and it's time I snap out of it! I can now see that allowing myself to get low like that is affecting me again and it's showing in what has happened!

So (my gawd I do say so a lot) I'm back to listening to my cd's and saying my mantras! Practice what I preach right!

Happy Wednesday! It's a great day! I have my family!

Why do I do that?

I see something so wonderful for a person and I automatically feel depressed and think... That could have been me? OR Why is that not me? OR That should be me!

I've been so focused on the gym I think I'm forgetting to fill my need to be more social. I'm starting to feel extremely lonely to the point that I feel like I can't even pick up the phone and call someone! There are so many days I wish someone would just stop by with a Timmy's or Starbucks to hang out here! I do get tired of always driving sometimes but then again... Maybe I need to get away from this place more. I think I have more of a social life before I went on mat leave.

Now don't get me wrong. I love my family! I am so thankful for what I have! But there are times where I let myself get envious of those with no children, a great career, money, nice house and a fun life. It takes a lot for me to pull myself in and tell myself that I have so much that other probably want! Two children, a husband, a home, a business and a great job to go back to after! I will get that great career, money and nicer house when I'm done my mat leave!

So why do I let myself get like this? Maybe it's a little bit of the baby blues coming a bit late. Feeling a bit overwhelmed with the entire house hold to run and clean and cook with no help.

I think it's time I go see my best friend so I can hear all about her days and get out of my head for a while!

Fear of

There is only a few things I'm scared of. Spiders, bugs, bad drivers, scary movies, clowns, dolls, fires and now death. Of course I would sometimes get a sudden fear of losing my husband or my children and I would do everything I could to think of something else. I would lay in bed and cry myself to sleep some nights just out of pure fear! And the one I haven't thought of yet was me. I have not been afraid of dying because I always felt I would live a long long life and hopefully die in my sleep. Until the other night. I got really scared. What would my family do? How would my husband deal? He doesn't know anything about our son's school and what needs to happen with our baby. Who would help him? Would my MIL move here? What about the house and bills and my debt? I don't even have a Will. I need to get on that. Then I think what if our boys lost both of us? What then?

I hate this. I had to write about it in hopes to get it off my chest and understand these feelings and thoughts. I need to changes these thoughts.

Found them!!!!

I'm not picky all all! LOL

If you know me you are laughing out loud right now!

And when it comes to shoes I'm the worst! I am not your typical girl when it comes to shoes! I do not love high healed shoes or anything to frilly! I'm your tom boy boot kind of girl!

I pulled out a pair of boots I've had for years and thought it was time to get a new pair! I didn't know I would have such a hard time finding a pair of boots I would love love love!

I went to almost every store I could think of and nothing! Everything was too girly, heals were too thin or too small and there was no hight on the toe part of the shoe! I'm short! I like a bit of hight but not where I'm standing on my toes!

I was about to give up all hope on this years fashion sense when I finally found them!

My boots! I'm going to have to search for my arch supports as these are not the best supporting boots ever! But that's what I get for $80! I was NOT about to spend over $150 on a pair of boots!
Now all I need to do is protect them and I'm set! I also need to find a good pair of slip on shoes too! That's another challenge! bahaha! wish me luck

I let them get the best of me

Emotions are a funny thing.

Over the past year I have learned to embrace the "lonely" feeling. Accepting that I am truly not alone and that my thoughts can move mountains if I allow them too! But yesterday I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. I actually felt alone. Really alone. Yet I had both my kids with me and I'm sure if I tried I could have found a friend to come over. But when I get that way. That woe is me kind of way. I have a hard time reaching out. As much as I love seeing people sometimes it's nice to have them come to me! But of course right now I have a slight cold and those I normally see I didn't want to pass it on. I allowed the littlest thought bring me down. I do my best not to cry in front of my son but yesterday I couldn't help it.

So why did allow those thoughts to take over? Why couldn't I stop myself or even laugh at myself for thinking such silly things? Lack of sleep? Lack of help? Busy weekend finally over? Being sick?

I really wanted someone to take over and take care of the house, dinner and me for once! But that's a dream I'll have to keep dreaming.

I never worried about Post-partum Depression this time around. I normally know how to get me out of little funks now. With my first I had major baby blues! I couldn't do much without feeling major fear or breaking down. But this time I can feel the happiness. I can feel the love flow through me! I can think rationally (most of the time) and see other options. Except for yesterday.

Today was a better day! I don't feel alone! Of course we had a busy day. Doctors appointments and then the dentist and of course my attempt to find a new pair of shoes! Ugh. Now that should have made me cry LOL There is NOTHING out there that I like! Stupid! And my son has cavities! Didn't cry! Yeah me! My house isn't such a mess but I did enjoy how clean it was for Thanksgiving!

I guess emotions are all based on Perception! What I perceive to be true or false. Is something worth stressing over or not. This morning I chose to be happy and calm! I thought of my ocean front view safe place!

The rest of the week is going to be busy. Another appointment tomorrow. Gym Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning! Baking a cake, cleaning a house and planning for 7 kids to come over Saturday! (handed out 16 school invites - 2 have rsvp which was part of my sadness yesterday) I think I'll pick up 10 goody bags! And I need to get back to my high veggie and fruit intake too! Damn Thanksgiving stuffing and mashed potatoes! mmmmm

Life is good! And it always gets better! I am allowed a sad day now and again right?

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Any holiday that involves cooking a turkey just makes me glow! I'm the type of person that has always wanted my house to be THE house to go to! My mom is a great cook, my grandfather is a great cook! But growing up the TV "family" type of scenario was not always there. I'm an only child with divorced parents and there wasn't a lot of family in town.

Any ways I always dreamed that when I had a family I would make new traditions mixed with old ones I knew growing up and holidays would be at my house! I dream that my sons friend will want to hang out here and when my kids have kids they will come here!

So today I woke up and started cooking!

I cut the onion first and my son was a bit disturbed that I was sobbing at 9am LOL Try and explain that to an almost 5 year old! "Hunny, Onions make your eyes water! So it looks like I'm crying but I'm really not!" Should have taken a photo #facepalm

We have onions, celery and apples added to boxes of Stove Top Stuffing! I also use Epicure Apple and Sage spices with Salt and Pepper! Yes I use boxed stuffing mix! I may be ambitious but not that ambitious! lol

Turkey is stuffed and seasoned! I use Epicure Turkey seasoning, Salt and Pepper and a shit load of butter! Mmmmmmmmm butter!

My little helper! Dad and big brother went out to get me Starbucks! :D Or as Hubby calls it - "One over priced pretensions cup of coffee!" (by the way I drink Soy Chai! Not coffee! lol ) 

The start to the veggies and more stuffing! lol

 Looking Good! Both my cousin and the Turkey! ;)

My wonderful Husband finally contributing to the dinner! LOL My cousin giving the thumbs up to both a wonderful turkey and hubby actually carving! LOL She carved at Xmas last year LOL So was excited she didn't have to today! (Hmmm over used of LOL?!?)

Come and Get it! :) (Turkey being carved)

I learned to buy paper plates during Holiday! LOL 

Dishes 95% complete! Thanks Amanda! :)

And finally my first attempt to making soup! I'll let you know how that goes! 

 It was a great day all together! I have so much to be thankful for! My husband, my two boys, my home, my family and friends! And the ability to purchase and cook such a great meal! I could list so much more!

I was talking with my cousins tonight about how I tend to spend to much time dwelling on others. Wishing I was that pretty or that skinny or this and that! And why? Why do I not just look around and embrace what I have because the people I dream over are probably doing the same thing with me!  I was also asked to list three things I love about myself. I had to really think because my automatic thoughts are what I don't like! I came up with my eyes (lol), my ability to finally thing more positive (most of the time any ways) and the fact that I have never given in (my strength)! Of course my weight I something I'm not a fan of but the truth is I'm healthy! And I wouldn't fall apart if I didn't reach my 130lbs goal as long as I can look in the mirror and zip up those size 8 jeans! The last 13lbs is pure vanity! You are so right! It is! And I am damn ok with that! I am proud that I can see and know the difference! I want to be able to look in the mirror and love myself! But I'm thankful that I have the ability to even do that! I have a very good life! No I may not live in the best area of town, drive the fanciest car, have the greatest paying job (although I think I'm doing very well and know I will do better) but I'm happy! When it's all said and done I'm happy! Even when I go to bed pissed of at my husband LOL I love him and what we are creating!

I sure hope everyone had/have a great Thanksgiving (And for my US friends next month!) and really put any negative, annoying, petty, pointless issue(s) aside and take a hard long look at what you have accomplished and be thankful! Be proud! Enjoy!

My joy! My three loves! Thank you!