I let them get the best of me

Emotions are a funny thing.

Over the past year I have learned to embrace the "lonely" feeling. Accepting that I am truly not alone and that my thoughts can move mountains if I allow them too! But yesterday I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. I actually felt alone. Really alone. Yet I had both my kids with me and I'm sure if I tried I could have found a friend to come over. But when I get that way. That woe is me kind of way. I have a hard time reaching out. As much as I love seeing people sometimes it's nice to have them come to me! But of course right now I have a slight cold and those I normally see I didn't want to pass it on. I allowed the littlest thought bring me down. I do my best not to cry in front of my son but yesterday I couldn't help it.

So why did allow those thoughts to take over? Why couldn't I stop myself or even laugh at myself for thinking such silly things? Lack of sleep? Lack of help? Busy weekend finally over? Being sick?

I really wanted someone to take over and take care of the house, dinner and me for once! But that's a dream I'll have to keep dreaming.

I never worried about Post-partum Depression this time around. I normally know how to get me out of little funks now. With my first I had major baby blues! I couldn't do much without feeling major fear or breaking down. But this time I can feel the happiness. I can feel the love flow through me! I can think rationally (most of the time) and see other options. Except for yesterday.

Today was a better day! I don't feel alone! Of course we had a busy day. Doctors appointments and then the dentist and of course my attempt to find a new pair of shoes! Ugh. Now that should have made me cry LOL There is NOTHING out there that I like! Stupid! And my son has cavities! Didn't cry! Yeah me! My house isn't such a mess but I did enjoy how clean it was for Thanksgiving!

I guess emotions are all based on Perception! What I perceive to be true or false. Is something worth stressing over or not. This morning I chose to be happy and calm! I thought of my ocean front view safe place!

The rest of the week is going to be busy. Another appointment tomorrow. Gym Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning! Baking a cake, cleaning a house and planning for 7 kids to come over Saturday! (handed out 16 school invites - 2 have rsvp which was part of my sadness yesterday) I think I'll pick up 10 goody bags! And I need to get back to my high veggie and fruit intake too! Damn Thanksgiving stuffing and mashed potatoes! mmmmm

Life is good! And it always gets better! I am allowed a sad day now and again right?