Fear of

There is only a few things I'm scared of. Spiders, bugs, bad drivers, scary movies, clowns, dolls, fires and now death. Of course I would sometimes get a sudden fear of losing my husband or my children and I would do everything I could to think of something else. I would lay in bed and cry myself to sleep some nights just out of pure fear! And the one I haven't thought of yet was me. I have not been afraid of dying because I always felt I would live a long long life and hopefully die in my sleep. Until the other night. I got really scared. What would my family do? How would my husband deal? He doesn't know anything about our son's school and what needs to happen with our baby. Who would help him? Would my MIL move here? What about the house and bills and my debt? I don't even have a Will. I need to get on that. Then I think what if our boys lost both of us? What then?

I hate this. I had to write about it in hopes to get it off my chest and understand these feelings and thoughts. I need to changes these thoughts.