I'm sure there is not one mother out there that like to hear the words "Your child needs ..." What we hear is THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR CHILD. Or at least that's what I hear.
I can not for the life of me stop crying. Get this. Ready. Don't laugh.... GLASSES.
Here's the kicker. I wanted glasses my ENTIRE life! And now I actually need them to see far (Near Sighted) and I only wear them when I drive at night. I love them!
But when it comes to my son I do NOT want him to need them. So I'm going to take him to another Optometrist and will suck it up if I hear the same thing!
I know what I can and can't see. I'm not sure if my son knows how to explain what he see's and really what if his vision is blurry? He probably just thinks it's normal.
I love my baby. I'm scared glasses will put a target on him in school along with his beautiful red hair! Kids are so mean. I hope I'm wrong. I hope he won't have a hard time. I hope he will charm everyone! Because he's such an amazing boy!
So I have come to the conclusion that I'm still postpartum and a complete emotional basket case!
I want what is best for my boys and if they need glasses then they will get them! But I will question it! LOL
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
My Cloth Diaper Reality!
This is where my husband likes to call me a "Tree Hugging Hippy". Along with the fact that I like to recycle, use a Baltic Amber Teething Necklace for our baby, and use other all natural remedies. But really that's about it. So I don't see myself as a hippy rather a Mom trying to do her best for not only her children but the planet as well! Oh and I used to have a 1971 VW Bug! LOL (RIP Pearl)
Over the past 5 years I have changed a lot! I would like to believe that not only have I grown as a person but as a mother as well! My children do come first. If I go out I spend 95% of my money on them. I hardly ever do anything major for me! The biggest thing I've done is joined Passion Parties to help make a little more money and get me the hell out of the house! When my first was around 7 or 8 months old... if that. Gawd I can't remember. Anyways my girlfriend and I sat down and purchased cloth diapers. I tried one kid and hated them so I really wasn't sure I'd like these ones. But they seamed to sell themselves. We purchased FuzziBunz and I love them. My husband however hates them.
Here is where my husband and I have completely different views on things. I would like to save us $427.20 a year on disposables (This assuming each diaper is around $0.15 and us 8 per day --- worst case). I do not mind changing cloth diapers nor to I mind washing them! I do 100% of the kids laundry and change our baby 99% of the time! So really his idea that they are dirty and disgusting doesn't really matter. It annoys me more then anything. My reality is I have no extra money in my budget for anything but my expenses. I can not buy food, clothes, diapers, toys, makeup, pads, toothpaste, wipes, shampoo, detergent... the list goes on. I depend on my husband to provide all funds for those needs. My only saving grace is any Passion money I have made that month. I only plan to work one party a month anyway so I can spend the majority of my time with my boys before having to go back to work full time. And that might give me $200! My team on a good month is close to $300 or more but our summer has been slow for some! Me! I have hit my goals and exceeded them! But that money can not be added to my budget! Truth if he no longer wants me to use them then he can go out and purchase all the diapers in the world for me to use! He just can't forget about garbage day on Wednesday or give me a hard time when I say we need food or other items! :)
This is the first time I've used diapers with a baby. It can be a bit messy and the stains. I need to figure out if I can use this Shaklee stuff I have. But other then that it's not a big deal!
I am proud to be a "Tree Hugging Hippy" and will continue to do what I can to make our world a better place!
Over the past 5 years I have changed a lot! I would like to believe that not only have I grown as a person but as a mother as well! My children do come first. If I go out I spend 95% of my money on them. I hardly ever do anything major for me! The biggest thing I've done is joined Passion Parties to help make a little more money and get me the hell out of the house! When my first was around 7 or 8 months old... if that. Gawd I can't remember. Anyways my girlfriend and I sat down and purchased cloth diapers. I tried one kid and hated them so I really wasn't sure I'd like these ones. But they seamed to sell themselves. We purchased FuzziBunz and I love them. My husband however hates them.
Here is where my husband and I have completely different views on things. I would like to save us $427.20 a year on disposables (This assuming each diaper is around $0.15 and us 8 per day --- worst case). I do not mind changing cloth diapers nor to I mind washing them! I do 100% of the kids laundry and change our baby 99% of the time! So really his idea that they are dirty and disgusting doesn't really matter. It annoys me more then anything. My reality is I have no extra money in my budget for anything but my expenses. I can not buy food, clothes, diapers, toys, makeup, pads, toothpaste, wipes, shampoo, detergent... the list goes on. I depend on my husband to provide all funds for those needs. My only saving grace is any Passion money I have made that month. I only plan to work one party a month anyway so I can spend the majority of my time with my boys before having to go back to work full time. And that might give me $200! My team on a good month is close to $300 or more but our summer has been slow for some! Me! I have hit my goals and exceeded them! But that money can not be added to my budget! Truth if he no longer wants me to use them then he can go out and purchase all the diapers in the world for me to use! He just can't forget about garbage day on Wednesday or give me a hard time when I say we need food or other items! :)
This is the first time I've used diapers with a baby. It can be a bit messy and the stains. I need to figure out if I can use this Shaklee stuff I have. But other then that it's not a big deal!
I am proud to be a "Tree Hugging Hippy" and will continue to do what I can to make our world a better place!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Home Birth ---My Truth
I had a home birth! Me! No drugs, Midwives, Pool ---- at Home! And it was the BEST decision I have ever made.
With my first son I had a hospital birth. Drugs and all. It wasn't bad but it also wasn't good. Everything around it I didn't like after. The drowsy feeling after. Not being able to control my own body. The stress it caused on my baby and having to use a vacuum. Being alone in a room after with a new baby I had no idea what to do with. And then the nurses taking my baby and putting him in the bassinet and not letting me hold him. Then waiting (always waiting) for my husband to come and get me. I could have been home in the morning but he got there in the afternoon. Never again.
When we were expecting last April I ask hubby what he thought about a home birth and he was dead against it. Then we lost that baby.
But when I was pregnant again with my little man I knew I had to do it no other way. I gave my hubby no choice. Over the years it was always in the back of my mind. I didn't think I would be able to do it. I didn't think I had the strength. I read about it. Read about midwives and other home birth stories. Even went on youtube. Being pregnant again I watched parts of "The Truth About Being Born" with Ricky Lake and applied to every midwife centre in YYC. I was about to give up on this urge to give birth in water when all I was getting were requests to be put on waiting lists and no responses. Until I applied again. A week later I got the call! "We have space!" I got scared. Those haunting thoughts came back... Can I do this? Am I strong enough?
The other day a lady told me her son would have died if she would have given birth at home. Why? I asked. Oh because he was born at 30 weeks and had breathing problems.
Here is where the truth about home births in my eyes comes into play!
First. Midwives will never deliver at home prior to 36 weeks. Of course they bring as much medical supplies as possible to a home when a delivery is occurring. They even bring Oxygen. However anything prior to 36 weeks is considered "High Risk". They will never deliver a High Risk at home unless you progress way to fast to make it to the hospital. And then 911 is called and that itself would be like any pregnant woman going into premature labour and having to call Emergency. That has nothing to do with Midwives and Home Births! And if you are not HR and something ends up horribly happening then yes. 911 is called and they do their best to save the baby and mom from harm. They have the supplies just like the hospital room. And in my mind more experience!
Midwives also do not take on "high risk" patients and if you are border line HR then if you reach that point home is not an option.
I was lucky not to be in that category. Non of my midwives made me worry about the weight I was gaining. They helped me ease my hubby's mind about how birth at home is in fact 100% safe and in most opinions better and safer then the hospital. They went over the "what ifs" and their 911 call rate of 3-5%. We went over the how to's and preparations on our part.
I was comfortable and happy and excited! I decided to rent a pool. I weighed the options of buying a kiddie pool and all the other supplies to renting an actual pool made for birth with all supplies provided. That was a lot less stress on me! So off to Born Doula Services and was able to rent one of their pools!
It was magical and empowering! And I would do it again in a heart beat! It was much more painful until I got into the pool but my active labour and after giving birth was so much more calming and loving! Even my husband was impressed and would do it again too!
I am not for or against hospital births but after my experience I too want to help other woman learn more about the benefits of a home birth!
And the best part. My little Mr. was there the entire time! Painting LOL
Big thanks to my Midwives, my husband, my mom, my son and Macy Gray playing in the back ground! I will always remember!
With my first son I had a hospital birth. Drugs and all. It wasn't bad but it also wasn't good. Everything around it I didn't like after. The drowsy feeling after. Not being able to control my own body. The stress it caused on my baby and having to use a vacuum. Being alone in a room after with a new baby I had no idea what to do with. And then the nurses taking my baby and putting him in the bassinet and not letting me hold him. Then waiting (always waiting) for my husband to come and get me. I could have been home in the morning but he got there in the afternoon. Never again.
When we were expecting last April I ask hubby what he thought about a home birth and he was dead against it. Then we lost that baby.
But when I was pregnant again with my little man I knew I had to do it no other way. I gave my hubby no choice. Over the years it was always in the back of my mind. I didn't think I would be able to do it. I didn't think I had the strength. I read about it. Read about midwives and other home birth stories. Even went on youtube. Being pregnant again I watched parts of "The Truth About Being Born" with Ricky Lake and applied to every midwife centre in YYC. I was about to give up on this urge to give birth in water when all I was getting were requests to be put on waiting lists and no responses. Until I applied again. A week later I got the call! "We have space!" I got scared. Those haunting thoughts came back... Can I do this? Am I strong enough?
The other day a lady told me her son would have died if she would have given birth at home. Why? I asked. Oh because he was born at 30 weeks and had breathing problems.
Here is where the truth about home births in my eyes comes into play!
First. Midwives will never deliver at home prior to 36 weeks. Of course they bring as much medical supplies as possible to a home when a delivery is occurring. They even bring Oxygen. However anything prior to 36 weeks is considered "High Risk". They will never deliver a High Risk at home unless you progress way to fast to make it to the hospital. And then 911 is called and that itself would be like any pregnant woman going into premature labour and having to call Emergency. That has nothing to do with Midwives and Home Births! And if you are not HR and something ends up horribly happening then yes. 911 is called and they do their best to save the baby and mom from harm. They have the supplies just like the hospital room. And in my mind more experience!
Midwives also do not take on "high risk" patients and if you are border line HR then if you reach that point home is not an option.
I was lucky not to be in that category. Non of my midwives made me worry about the weight I was gaining. They helped me ease my hubby's mind about how birth at home is in fact 100% safe and in most opinions better and safer then the hospital. They went over the "what ifs" and their 911 call rate of 3-5%. We went over the how to's and preparations on our part.
I was comfortable and happy and excited! I decided to rent a pool. I weighed the options of buying a kiddie pool and all the other supplies to renting an actual pool made for birth with all supplies provided. That was a lot less stress on me! So off to Born Doula Services and was able to rent one of their pools!
It was magical and empowering! And I would do it again in a heart beat! It was much more painful until I got into the pool but my active labour and after giving birth was so much more calming and loving! Even my husband was impressed and would do it again too!
I am not for or against hospital births but after my experience I too want to help other woman learn more about the benefits of a home birth!
And the best part. My little Mr. was there the entire time! Painting LOL
Big thanks to my Midwives, my husband, my mom, my son and Macy Gray playing in the back ground! I will always remember!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
More Water Please...
I breastfeed. I do not use formula. Mainly because I don't want to and I don't have too. I've started introducing cereal to my little man. I then attempt to pump to add to cereal. I however have been having a hard time pumping. I still feed him every two hours. So I started questioning why I couldn't even get a tablespoon out with a pump. And alas...
I'm not drinking enough water.
You would think I'd know this by now. I came to that realization last night when I had only had 1/2 a glass ALL DAY! This from needing 10+ when we first started because I was so parched.
I no longer drink coffee. The tea I have is herbal but most of the damn time I'll turn the kettle on an forget I even did.
So here I am back to having to remind myself that I need to still drink more then average amounts of water to supply my wonderful child with milk!
I've dropped my little Mr. off at school and now am back how with a sleeping baby. I have yet to have breakfast or a glass of water! Great start!
Off I go. Glass number 1 of my goal of 10 or more!
Lets see how good I am today! ;)
I'm not drinking enough water.
You would think I'd know this by now. I came to that realization last night when I had only had 1/2 a glass ALL DAY! This from needing 10+ when we first started because I was so parched.
I no longer drink coffee. The tea I have is herbal but most of the damn time I'll turn the kettle on an forget I even did.
So here I am back to having to remind myself that I need to still drink more then average amounts of water to supply my wonderful child with milk!
I've dropped my little Mr. off at school and now am back how with a sleeping baby. I have yet to have breakfast or a glass of water! Great start!
Off I go. Glass number 1 of my goal of 10 or more!
Lets see how good I am today! ;)
Monday, September 12, 2011
Where did my drive go?
It's Monday morning. I went to bed after midnight. I was up at 3am and 6:30 am. My little Mr. woke up at 6:50 on his own. Super crazy! And he was happy and excited for school. I've already fed little man so off I go to get breakfast and lunch together. It's now 9:30. My little man is sleeping and I'm about to do the same for maybe 30min nap. I have no desire to work out. I want to get my body back but I can't seem to find any motivation. I'm tired of people telling me "Relax you just had a baby" and I also hate all woman who have a body that doesn't even show any signs that they had a child EVER so soon after giving birth. I'm getting depressed over my fucking image and that's making me hate myself even more. I have to find my way back to loving me and thinking happy thoughts and knowing I will be where I want to be as long as I get my ass moving. But I'm just so damn tired.
Last week was our first full week of school. I got the mr. into a great schedule for school which I stressed over all summer for no apparent reason. He couldn't even sleep in past 7:30am this weekend! And last night he was asleep by 8pm! I freaken ROCK! 7pm bath, 730 story and 8pm bed! yah me!
So I'm going to relax today! I say the rest can wait! I'll get to bed at a better time tonight and get this house in order tomorrow. I'll go to the gym thurs/fri/sat. That way I'll only pay for two days of care for the baby.
I've also been looking at these Belly Bandits. $100 to make my mind happy so I don't look so round in the mirror? I'm also going to do my best to avoid carbs. Last night as I enjoyed my bag of Kettle Brand Baked Chips I decided that I'm going to do my very best to not eat bread, breaded products and junk food. (But I'll allow a bag of those chips to enter the house once in a while! And dark chocolate! mmmmmm) I've also started making smoothies. Got my kid hooked on them too! Spinach, raspberries, strawberries, bananas, yogurt (might ditch that ingredient) and a splash of fruit juice.
So here's to working on it all again after losing my drive after vacation! Here's to finding my positive thinking to get my world back in order. If that's even possible right?
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Confession
Over the past few days I've been feeling like if I was to be graded in the "Good Wife" department I would get a big fat F.
Now don't get me wrong here. This is me just trying to work through my own thoughts and emotions while my body becomes "normal" again. I'm not looking for a pity party although sometimes it would be nice to get on my own soap box so to speak and cry my woes like so many do. But I don't feel like I have a lot.
I know I bitch a lot. Something I am trying to change. Not hard enough if seems at times. I'm doing my damn best to see the good side in everything. Yet my eyes are trained for faults. And that drives me crazy. I can't stand that all I seem to think about are the "what if's" of parts of my life. The things I wish that were different or maybe things I wish I would have done when the chance actually did fall into my lap and I allowed FEAR to let me say "No Thanks".
And then all those NO's led me to this life. A life full of love, laughter and joy! So where does this F come into play as a Wife.
Well I haven't been able to really open up, accept and even provide affection. All I see is the times I spend waiting. And oh how much I hate to wait. I'm a very impatient person. All I see is certain needs of mine not being met or the things I've so many times asked not being done. What I don't see is the kindness in his eyes as he allows me to find my confidence in my self again. The love he still has for me when I don't even love myself. The hard work he puts in 24/7 so that we can put food on the table. The times he makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry! He is truly one the best things that has ever happened to me and I am taking it for granted. I'm so sorry.
Now don't get me wrong here. This is me just trying to work through my own thoughts and emotions while my body becomes "normal" again. I'm not looking for a pity party although sometimes it would be nice to get on my own soap box so to speak and cry my woes like so many do. But I don't feel like I have a lot.
I know I bitch a lot. Something I am trying to change. Not hard enough if seems at times. I'm doing my damn best to see the good side in everything. Yet my eyes are trained for faults. And that drives me crazy. I can't stand that all I seem to think about are the "what if's" of parts of my life. The things I wish that were different or maybe things I wish I would have done when the chance actually did fall into my lap and I allowed FEAR to let me say "No Thanks".
And then all those NO's led me to this life. A life full of love, laughter and joy! So where does this F come into play as a Wife.
Well I haven't been able to really open up, accept and even provide affection. All I see is the times I spend waiting. And oh how much I hate to wait. I'm a very impatient person. All I see is certain needs of mine not being met or the things I've so many times asked not being done. What I don't see is the kindness in his eyes as he allows me to find my confidence in my self again. The love he still has for me when I don't even love myself. The hard work he puts in 24/7 so that we can put food on the table. The times he makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry! He is truly one the best things that has ever happened to me and I am taking it for granted. I'm so sorry.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Back to our New Adventure
Today is my little red heads first day back to school after his staggered start in August and then two weeks off for vacation!
My family drove to Vancouver for two weeks! Was that ever nice! We also headed over the Sooke on the Island for my best friends wedding and spent two days at my grandparents house on the ocean in Sidney! That place is heaven for me! Their deck in the image I imagine when I'm having a bad day! Beautiful deck with a large arbutus tree looking over the ocean and Salt Spring Island with a very nice hot tub! What more could you ask for when you want a break from life? And to top of this wonderful atmosphere... a nice glass of red wine! I haven't had a drink in over a year until now! After my first son I have allergic reactions to liquor and my face gets all red and puffy! But my Papa opened a bottle of this Spanish wine that did not do that! Could have been the 5 glasses of water I drank to my one glass of wine to not effect my baby too much! LOL
However there is a downside to this paradise.... they have animals. My wonderful cat that has now turned into Garfield and two cute little dogs! My husband is deathly allergic to animals! And no it's not as easy as to take some pill to make a stuffy nose or itchy eyes to go away. It gives him asthma. And bad! He can't spend any longer then an hour in any presence of animals before having to use his inhaler. Which then causes him to not sleep due to spasms and then the possibility of canker sores! Hell! And of course those wonderful "hypo-allergenic" still cause the same symptoms. Here's a wonderful lesson for those who don't know. There is NO such thing as a Magic Dog! When your allergy is so extreme nothing makes it better!
We also camped! That too was interesting with hubby! When we drove out to Sooke for the wedding we camped in a nice rustic cabin. It had electricity and benches for beds! My grandparents gave us pillows, mats and sleeping bags! I loved it! Hubby not so much!
Vancouver was great! We stayed with my aunt and uncle and that is always great! Red LOVES my uncle. He's "Uncle-Man"! They also have their own new club! The backwards club! LOL I truly wish they were closer! I'm so thankful they are in our lives! We took Red to see the Aquarium, the beach and Stanley Park. We also went to the Night Street Market! We did a lot of relaxing as well.
I'm hoping to be able to drive back there with just the boys in March before I go back to work.
So today is back to reality. I was up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep. Stress and excitement keeps me awake. Usually I'm up for about an hour after early morning feeds but could sleep in. I'm sure I'll be taking a nap today! Red's day at school should be interesting after not wanting to go to bed. That's my fault for letting him stay up late and sleep in on our vacation. This next few weeks will be fun training not only him but hubby as well. I said I was going to buy a Vacuum for Xmas and nothing else but I might add a PVR to that so hubby can record shows and we can turn the damn TV off from dinner to bedtime! Thankfully I can turn to Passion Parties to help with those expenses!
Here's to our new adventure with school! I can't believe my baby is in school and I have a new baby!
My family drove to Vancouver for two weeks! Was that ever nice! We also headed over the Sooke on the Island for my best friends wedding and spent two days at my grandparents house on the ocean in Sidney! That place is heaven for me! Their deck in the image I imagine when I'm having a bad day! Beautiful deck with a large arbutus tree looking over the ocean and Salt Spring Island with a very nice hot tub! What more could you ask for when you want a break from life? And to top of this wonderful atmosphere... a nice glass of red wine! I haven't had a drink in over a year until now! After my first son I have allergic reactions to liquor and my face gets all red and puffy! But my Papa opened a bottle of this Spanish wine that did not do that! Could have been the 5 glasses of water I drank to my one glass of wine to not effect my baby too much! LOL
However there is a downside to this paradise.... they have animals. My wonderful cat that has now turned into Garfield and two cute little dogs! My husband is deathly allergic to animals! And no it's not as easy as to take some pill to make a stuffy nose or itchy eyes to go away. It gives him asthma. And bad! He can't spend any longer then an hour in any presence of animals before having to use his inhaler. Which then causes him to not sleep due to spasms and then the possibility of canker sores! Hell! And of course those wonderful "hypo-allergenic" still cause the same symptoms. Here's a wonderful lesson for those who don't know. There is NO such thing as a Magic Dog! When your allergy is so extreme nothing makes it better!
We also camped! That too was interesting with hubby! When we drove out to Sooke for the wedding we camped in a nice rustic cabin. It had electricity and benches for beds! My grandparents gave us pillows, mats and sleeping bags! I loved it! Hubby not so much!
Vancouver was great! We stayed with my aunt and uncle and that is always great! Red LOVES my uncle. He's "Uncle-Man"! They also have their own new club! The backwards club! LOL I truly wish they were closer! I'm so thankful they are in our lives! We took Red to see the Aquarium, the beach and Stanley Park. We also went to the Night Street Market! We did a lot of relaxing as well.
I'm hoping to be able to drive back there with just the boys in March before I go back to work.
So today is back to reality. I was up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep. Stress and excitement keeps me awake. Usually I'm up for about an hour after early morning feeds but could sleep in. I'm sure I'll be taking a nap today! Red's day at school should be interesting after not wanting to go to bed. That's my fault for letting him stay up late and sleep in on our vacation. This next few weeks will be fun training not only him but hubby as well. I said I was going to buy a Vacuum for Xmas and nothing else but I might add a PVR to that so hubby can record shows and we can turn the damn TV off from dinner to bedtime! Thankfully I can turn to Passion Parties to help with those expenses!
Here's to our new adventure with school! I can't believe my baby is in school and I have a new baby!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
About Me
I'm an Accountant by day and Passion Consultant by Night! I'm also a regular mother and wife learning to find my sanity through our daily events!
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