I am an Independent Beachbody Coach, an Independent Epircure Rep, accounting clerk, Mother and Wife! Full time job 24/7, I am learning to grow, share & love my way through life! Care to join me?

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Monday, September 12, 2011

Where did my drive go?

It's Monday morning. I went to bed after midnight. I was up at 3am and 6:30 am. My little Mr. woke up at 6:50 on his own. Super crazy! And he was happy and excited for school. I've already fed little man so off I go to get breakfast and lunch together. It's now 9:30. My little man is sleeping and I'm about to do the same for maybe 30min nap. I have no desire to work out. I want to get my body back but I can't seem to find any motivation. I'm tired of people telling me "Relax you just had a baby" and I also hate all woman who have a body that doesn't even show any signs that they had a child EVER so soon after giving birth. I'm getting depressed over my fucking image and that's making me hate myself even more. I have to find my way back to loving me and thinking happy thoughts and knowing I will be where I want to be as long as I get my ass moving. But I'm just so damn tired.

Last week was our first full week of school. I got the mr. into a great schedule for school which I stressed over all summer for no apparent reason. He couldn't even sleep in past 7:30am this weekend! And last night he was asleep by 8pm! I freaken ROCK! 7pm bath, 730 story and 8pm bed! yah me!

So I'm going to relax today! I say the rest can wait! I'll get to bed at a better time tonight and get this house in order tomorrow. I'll go to the gym thurs/fri/sat. That way I'll only pay for two days of care for the baby.

I've also been looking at these Belly Bandits. $100 to make my mind happy so I don't look so round in the mirror? I'm also going to do my best to avoid carbs. Last night as I enjoyed my bag of Kettle Brand Baked Chips I decided that I'm going to do my very best to not eat bread, breaded products and junk food. (But I'll allow a bag of those chips to enter the house once in a while! And dark chocolate! mmmmmm) I've also started making smoothies. Got my kid hooked on them too! Spinach, raspberries, strawberries, bananas, yogurt (might ditch that ingredient) and a splash of fruit juice.

So here's to working on it all again after losing my drive after vacation! Here's to finding my positive thinking to get my world back in order. If that's even possible right?


1 comment:

  1. Last night I was feeling below the normal level of dirt and I just couldn't shake off the funk I was in. So I sat down in front of paper and a pen and I wrote the following:

    I am capable. I am young, powerful, beautiful and wise.
    Over and over again.

    And then I wrote down why. What made me capable. Why am I so tired every day. It's not because I'm lazy, it's because I work 2 jobs, take care of 3 dogs, renovate my house and volunteer for an organization here in town. That makes me a strong woman, a powerful woman, and a beautiful one.

    I found seeing it right in front of me helped. I know many women who lost the baby weight just by giving birth and they left the hospital in their old jeans. It's frustrating. But it's the same frustration we get when we see beautiful women with features we wish we had ourselves. So you just have to find what makes you beautiful. Things that next to no one else has.
    Like a rockstar husband. A red headed boy named Ethan and a 5 month old. The baby fat you got from those two are what kept them safe while they grew, there is nothing wrong with that. You just have to work a little harder to put on those skinnies. But honestly, those who say 'don't be so fussy about how you look, you just had a baby' are just saying it to make themselves feel better because they now know they're not the only ones who struggle/have struggled. Overweight people encourage other overweight people to be okay with being fat so they don't have to feel so desperate to lose it themselves. You just have rise above it all. You have to want it enough to not push so hard and to accept that it took 9 months to put on, and it wont come off over night.

    And besides. You're one of the only people I know who has hair that I'm so damn jealous over. Seriously. It's long and a great colour. I have to work so hard to keep mine looking half decent let alone have naturally fantastic hair.


    =P Anyways, something for you to chew on.

    ReplyDelete