After I took Ethan to the Chiropractor and to school he said he was fine up until dinner time when his stomach ache came back. So I ran him another warm bath and he went to bed with no dinner. He then woke up crying again. Steve freaked out at me. So I told him I would take him in to be checked out while he stays home to do his work he said he needed to do tonight. That there in itself builds a little resentment in my own head that I am trying to push aside. I start thinking about all the times I'm always the one to do things. Why can't he just trust my instinct and what Dr. Paul said. AND THEN I START TO QUESTION MYSELF. I should know better then to do this. I have great instincts. Especially when it comes to my children. There is some kind of tie between a mother and a child that no one can deny is there. I have always had this little voice inside of me that has said either "This is wrong" or "This is right". I don't always listen to it but I'm learning to trust it!
Here's the thing. I'm not totally against Doctors. No. To me they are surgeons. They are needed when something serious needs to be fixed. Now if I couldn't even touch Ethan stomach or he couldn't play normal like he has been for the past week then I would have had him in the ER sooner. But the pains would come in waves and he was playing, eating and even going to the bathroom normal. He said his entire stomach ached. No one spot. And no I'm not a doctor but I know enough to know that that is not serious. I have had my own stomach pains and hours spent in the ER to know symptoms.
I felt like a moron when the ER Doctor looked at me and asked in a mocking voice "So why ARE you here?" I told him that Ethan started crying and my husband freaked out! The doctor laughed and said it's normally the other way around. I then told him I'm the hippy one of the family. I'd rather see a medicine man then a doctor any day, no offence.
So he proceeds to check him out. Felt his stomach and said it's nice and soft which is a great sign that nothing is blocking anything. Nothing is pushing back and it doesn't hurt him to push it! So he's perfectly fine. He might have a mild virus and this could last another week.
Here is where my problem arises. He then proceeds to tell me we could put him on a mild anti-depressant. I don't understand that industry. Why would he tell me this and what would that really do for a mild stomach ache? Now that I have had a night to process that comment I'm furious and confused.
I'm mad at myself mostly for not standing my ground. Yes I'm thankful I went and my Ego is beaming because I was told what I was already thinking and that my husband hopefully got the answer he needed but this also makes me mad. I know I'm right but this causes another issue. The lack of trust between myself and my husband. We have different views. Different beliefs. We don't always agree with what is the right approach when it comes to our children. This needs to be addressed. I do know this. Next time Steve doesn't agree with me he can take control and go fix it! I don't care if he has people to call, emails to write and comments to post. If he doesn't like what I'm saying or how I'm handling things he can go get the answers himself! I just hope he's with me when I say what the fuck was that doctor thinking when he suggested an anti depressant? Was it just to get me the fuck out of the room so someone more serious could be seen? I didn't want to be there in the first place. I had to carry a 38 lbs child and a 19 lbs baby in a car seat because one refused to walk into the ER. I then had to try and contain a squirmy baby in my arms because he wanted down to explore. Sure he wants to be held all day until we are some where he really doesn't want to crawl around on. And it bothers me that the most common place to catch anything is where... The ER!
Not every person with a Dr. in front of their name is good. No one is perfect. Not even me. I make mistakes. I'm running on no sleep which is like having a few drinks. But I believe that a lot of ailments can be cured with simply a better diet. And yes I believe in Chiropractic care. I know a lot of people don't but I do. I have seen it work. And just like the gym, yes you need to go back to maintain your health!
I'm also not a complete hippy. I agree with Vaccinations! I do believe we wouldn't need them if everyone went to a chiropractor but we don't. And I also believe that the ones not vaccinating are going to cause another epidemic but again that is my own belief and I can only sit and wait for time to tell.
Last night taught me to trust my instinct and that I need to stop trying to control everything. I'm taking off the pants. The next issue to arise will not be in my hands. When I go back to work I'm not going to be able to do it all anyway and if I don't get the help with the decisions, actions and maintenance around here I will really lose my mind. I'm not kidding. I don't know what else to do. I'm venting right now but I've cried and screamed and talked and emailed. Maybe a complete freak out/mental breakdown will break through?
I am also not saying my way is the best way either. It just feels right. Inside my heart and soul. I have seen and experienced what anti-depressants can do to people and in my experience it made things worse. I have seen and read horror stories of medical doctors making life threatening mistakes. And of course I have heard horror stories of midwives and chiropractors too. However I will not see someone I don't think has my best interest in mind and/or isn't giving me the most natural remedy before going the medical way. I had the same argument when I choose to go ahead with a home birth!
I do what I feel is right for myself and my family and knock on wood so far I have not been wrong with this path! Agree or disagree with me. This is what is in my heart, soul and head! Along with a little man called Ego doing a happy dance! stupid ego.
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