Forgiveness

Forgiveness... letting go of the past... If not for the other person but at least for yourself. For your own piece of mind. But here is my question. How do you forgive someone for years of pain, lies and actions that are not, well, right?

The more I learn about certain situations the more I just wish they would not even be a part of my life. I have been told it's alright to walk away. That they do not have to be a part of it. It's my choice who is in my life now! No matter their relation to me. Family are the friends I choose to be with.

But what happens when in reality it's them but you feel the guilt? How do you move on from that? How do you make that feeling go away when you have nothing to feel guilty for?

I enjoy my life. I love who I have in my day to day life. There are times my life gets hard or annoying and I wish I could just pick up the phone. But that's all it is. That's all it ever was. A wish. I will never have the relationship I have always dreamed of because this person will and never has changed.

I have learned that I have no power to change someones ways. I can only change my own. So I have detached my heart and keep my distance emotionally. I will not pick up the phone. That is not my responsibility.

However by walking away is that to not forgive? I don't hate this person and in some way I will always love them but they have broken my trust and pushed me so far that I no long know them. I can't handle being around them. So I just let go. But not enough to get rid of my guilt.

My question is how can I let go and be free from this feeling of guilt without letting them walk all over me yet again?